Name that POL/Spouse (from his/her Yearbook pic!): SEE ANSWERS BELOW

1. SARAH PALIN

2. JOHN McCAIN

3. JOE BIDEN

4. MIKE HUCKABEE

5. NANCY PELOSI

6. DICK CHENEY

7. MICHELLE OBAMA

8. NORM COLEMAN

9. ROD BLAGOJEVICH

10. JIMMY CARTER

11. RUDY GIULIANI


PICS ARE ALL COURTESY OF VETO CORLEONE SITE (no peeking ...)

I like open comments, but...

I think we've heard enough of the Hansen family, pictured below:

I have seen the light!

By popular demand, I am THROUGH being negative! From now on I will only post pictures of puppies and kitties! And maybe kids with balloons! And baby ducks!

--------NOT!--------

What fun would that be???

An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.....No it isn't.

I had a surreal experience today. I actually encountered a Glenn Beck fan in another forum. It's somewhat like the giant squid. You know they exist but they are rarely seen in their natural habitat. I will mention no names or identifying features of the individual, however.

First of all, I assume you're familiar with Glenn Beck. If not, take a Klansman, a woman hater and someone who has suffered traumatic head injuries, blend them up and give them a microphone and you have Glenn Beck.

This began with some claptrap he was circulating, his "principles." I won't honor them with a reference, suffice it to say that it was a mishmash of truisms, nonsense and right-wing talking points. The Beck fan, though, began this bizarre defense, that we had to "respect" him because he had made something out of himself despite being a drunk. OK, we start with a bigoted, lying, misogynistic douchebag who is a drunk, take away the drunk and what's left?

He/she tried the old wingnut canard of saying that I feel that way about people I "disagree" with. First of all, tell that to the Mrs., she would be fascinated. And of course, it's patently untrue. Right off the top I can tell you that I LOVE to listen to Pat Buchanan. I don't agree with a thing he says, but he's bright, he doesn't make stuff up like Beck and he's intellectually honest.

Anyway, I gave the Beck fan a list of quotes and the source so he/she could see what a miscreant he is. The response--classic. I'm not going to read those because my mind is made up. Alex, may I have cognitive dissonance for $1000?

The kicker though were comments on their site complaining about my "name calling." True, I called Glenn Beck a moron and other things, but said nothing about the individual involved in the discussion. Yet his/her hero Beck does nothing BUT call names.

Again, the remarkable thing is how these wingers need to be told what to do. They can't think for themselves.

Givin' the GOP Response

is just another word for nothin' left to lose.

Note to Gov. Jindal. That whooshing sound you just heard was the the air going out of your national political ambitions balloon. Nice speech there, Bob.

Can you imagine...

If you had been watching a presidential speech last night and seen THIS:



in the chair behind the podium???

Now this one is funny...

The email addy for the blog largely serves as a spam receptacle. You know, the apparently obvious fact of my male inadequacies or my friends in Nigeria. This one below is priceless though. First of all, they use the IRS. It is a small amount, as compared to the ridiculous riches promised in the Nigerian oil minister ilk.

But please--I make my living writing, and I'm best friends with typos, but can we have a little proofreading? And I'm sure the IRS credits tax refunds to credit cards.

IF anyone falls for this, they deserve to get cleaned out. Stupidity SHOULD be painful.

Can we think outside the box about throwing "shovel-ready" under the bus at the end of the day IMHO (and any other cliches you can think of)

I hereby nominate "shovel ready" as the leader in the clubhouse for 2009's most annoying phrase.

Happy 277th, George!

Honestly, George, you don't look a day over 276!

He was not a great military mind. He was not a great politician. But he was a great MAN, and America's indispensable man. Without him, there was no country to make, and without Lincoln, no country worth saving.

Happy birthday.

Expelling Bee

Ah, Roland Burris. What happens next?

This is different from the debate on seating, with each house judging its own members, which is procedural. Barring a resignation by the egomaniacal freak, the matter falls under the same Article 1, Section 5, which rather unhelpfully provides that "Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member."

The framers and commas, not so much. You know, the whole "well-regulated militia" thing? The question is, you can punish for "disorderly conduct," but is that operative with regard to expulsion? If so, what is disorderly conduct??

We have no predent to decide this. The Senate has not expelled a member since 1862, and every expulsion to date was because they were TRAITORS. One in the 18th century, and then that whole Confederacy thing.

[On that note, with apologies to my southern brethren--I still fervently believe that every senior political official of the so-called Confederacy should have been hanged as traitors, along with every commissioned officer in the so-called Confederate army. You do not make war on this nation lightly. I applaud Lincoln with his "malice toward none" approach, but if it had been me, malice all around! Treason should be painful.]

Rush's dumber brother and the Right-Wing Echo Chamber

David Limbaugh, Rush's dumber brother, wrote on www.creators.com, and USED QUOTES so you know it's official, that under the stimulus bill, a new federal bureaucracy "will monitor treatments to make sure your doctor is doing what the federal government deems appropriate and cost effective." Oooooh, scary! Boo! Bad government!

And of course, the quotes mean it's in the bill, right?

Right?

Nah.

The quote came from a right-wing harpy former lieutenanant governor of New York that was picked up by little Davy's drug-addled gasbag brother.

The bill provides that the National Coordinator for Health Information Technology' not new but in existence for 5 years, will provide appropriate information to help guide medical decisions at the time and place of care.

Yeah, I'd hate to get--information.

Bet he's kicking himself now

(H/T to Redzone Jim, shamelessly stolen)

Toon-town

I'm sure you've heard of the New York Post chimp cartoon controversy and I was wondering how the class felt about it.

There are several different things in play. First of all, the rather horrific attack of a woman in Connecticut by a chimp about my size, where the police shot the critter.

Then we have an inordinately complex stimulus bill.

The "innocent" explanation is the "infinite monkey theorem," you know, with monkeys and typewriters and infinity they produce Hamlet, or in this case--a stimulus bill.

Do you buy the "innocent" explanation or the racism angle?

Incremental

2 days post op. Getting better. Typing slowly. Some tubes been removed (thankfully, the MG tube and extra IV). Still have catheter, wound drain, abscess drain. epidural, oxygen, PICC lime(semi-perm IV for nutrition, antibiotics, and morphine), and the all-important colostomy bag. ( am looking totally hot, BTW.

Health is noticeably improving, even through background noise.

Breaking News

SMUDGE REPORT

Roland Burris is A-Rod's Dad!

Sources tell Smudge that DNA from a needle that Alex Rodriguez doesn't know anything about that came from his cousin in the Dominican Republic that he didn't know was a country indicates that he is the biological child of embattled U.S. Senator Roland Burris.

Burris initially stated that he had never had any contact with A-Rod's mother, or with any woman for that matter. He denied he was the father of anyone, including Rolanda, Roland Jr., Rolaids and Rolodex. Later, in an affidavit, he stated that "Hell, Wilt Chamberlain's got nothin' on the B-Man."

A source close to the story told Smudge that "I can't say for sure, but as they say, like father, like son. A-Rod may have been young and stupid, like he said. Well, we know where he got the stupid part!"

DEVELOPING!

As the Burris turns..

From the Chicago Tribune:

Burris now acknowledges fundraising effort for Blagojevich
Posted by Rick Pearson, John Chase and Ray Long at 10:40 a.m.

U.S. Sen. Roland Burris has acknowledged he sought to raise campaign funds for then-Gov. Rod Blagojevich at the request of the governor’s brother at the same time he was making a pitch to be appointed to the Senate seat previously held by President Barack Obama.

Burris' latest comments in Peoria Monday night were the first time he has publicly said he was actively trying to raise money for Blagojevich. Previously Burris has left the impression that he always balked at the issue of raising money for the governor because of his interest in the Senate appointment.

In comments to reporters after appearing at a Democratic dinner, the senator several times contradicted his latest under-oath affidavit that he quietly filed with the Illinois House impeachment panel earlier this month. That affidavit was itself an attempt to clean up his live, sworn testimony to the panel Jan. 8, when he omitted his contacts with several Blagojevich insiders.

Something tells me the senator, pictured below


is not long for the job.

How are these three pictures connected?

Picture #1 -- DePauw University, ye olde alma mater

Pictures #2 and 3, you know.

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scroll down for answer
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Comin' right up
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Get ready..

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[Matthew Simpson, first president of Indiana Asbury College, presided at Lincoln's funeral. He was an associate of Francis Asbury, the first Methodist bishop in the United States. The small college headed by Rev. Simpson was named for Bishop Asbury. It was subsequently renamed to honor a rich donor, Washington C. DePauw. Other schools and towns were named in honor of Bishop Asbury, including Asbury Park, New Jersey, home of... ]

I'd be happy to loan Grampy my GPS if he needs it to find reality...

Grampy McCain whined, "That's not how you negotiate a result. You sit down together in a room with competing proposals. Almost all of our proposals went down on a party-line vote."

Well, duh. Your PROPOSALS are bad ideas that got us in this mess in the first place.
Time to turn Grampy and change the sheets. Let's hope he doesn't wander off again.

Out of Action

Bad news from magooland: I'm off to the OR this afternoon so that the docs can cut a hunk out of my tripes. Hopefully, I'll be back up and blabbering before too long, but for a while here, I'm going to be in major lurk mode. Remember, guys and gals, no matter how screwed up the government is, most of what we scream about is pretty small potatoes compared with what's really important. In addition to the innards issues, I've got a complicating virus (MRSA, whee!), and I haven't been able to see my little guy since Tuesday. That, my friends, sucks. Be well.

Brother, can you spare a trillion?

OK. No one likes running the red ink meter the way this massive whatever bill just did/will do.

But let's face facts.

What we KNOW from cold hard experience is that giving Thurston and Lovey, and even me, tax cuts, DOES NOT WORK. Neither do cuts in business taxes. Higher corporate tax rates encourage REINVESTMENT and EXPANSION rather than squirrelling away shareholder gain. We also know that the last generation of Republican economic ideology, including the eight years of the GOP's best friend Bill Clinton, has skateboarded us into this disaster.

What we don't know is WILL THIS HELP? And I have no idea. The point is though, that this is 1933 and then some all over again. We need to try THINGS. If they work, fine, if they don't, scrap them. The operative word now is PRAGMATISM, not (paging John Boehner) partisanship.

The Titanic has hit the berg. I'd rather NOT be Leo.

From the desk of the President

OFFICE of the PRESIDENT
The White House

To: The House Republican Caucus
CC:The Senate Republican Congress

I have been greatly disappointed in the reaction of your members to the financial crisis and our attempts to initiate economic recovery. My administration and I have reached across the aisle and have repeatedly been rejected and stonewalled.

ACCORDINGLY, I, Barack H. Obama, President of the United States, do hereby declare that the official position of the White House and this administration with regard to the Republican members of Congress is

Fuck you and the horses you rode in on.

Toodles.

Done this 13th day of February 2009, Washington D.C.

Meanwhile, back in Frostbite Falls...

1) Soon to be former Sen. Judd Gregg, showing that GOP members of the legislative houses are as a general rule, giant flaming turds, continues the party plan to be obstructionist and giant flaming turd-like; and

2) In case you weren't watching, it looks like Israel's government is taking a HARD right turn out of the recent elections. Bad, bad, bad.

Revising revisionist history (Apologies, long-winded)

While I'm on the topic of Lincoln--

I have seen a lot of revisionist history lately, deconstructing Lincoln the myth and legend. Their criticisms? That he was not aggressive enough on emancipation, that he was not committed to racial equality, that he said things such as in the debates with Douglas and his famous letter to (batsh*t crazy) Horace Greeley that paint him in an unflattering light with regard to race and equality. That he abused his power in office, for example, by suspending habeas corpus.

They are completely right on those particular allegations, yet they completely miss the point.

First of all, let us remember that this is his 200th birthday. 1809, folks. We have to judge him by the standards of his time, not ours. Slavery and race bedeviled great men such as Adams and Jefferson, yet its end came down to his Indiana-raised small town lawyer.

Can we find people of his time with a more pure and consistent commitment to abolition and racial equality? Of course. And what was the likelihood that any of those ideological purists could have been elected president. ZERO.

So number one, he was born in 1809, and number two, he was a POLITICIAN. Did he say racially negative things on the campaign trail? Yes. Why? Well, in large part, he needed the votes of racists! It is interesting to track his language in the debates with Douglas. Lincoln in downstate Illinois (today still an enclave of racism--I know, I grew up there) is very different from the Lincoln of the north. I also think that some of his comments on the races living together, and his dabbling in colonization reflected his pessimism about his fellow white Americans rather than his view of blacks.

Number three, he was president in a federal system that greatly constrained the power of the government to act against slavery. Lincoln was outraged by the Dredd Scott decision, and he was dedicated to containing slavery and prohibiting its expansion. However, he was keenly aware of the limitations of his own authority.

And number four, his presidency was defined by war. He entered office with seven states seceded, and died with Confederate forces still active in the field. From the White House he could see enemy territory, and with a hostile Maryland, the capital was basically surrounded. His goal was to end the insurrection and restore the authority of the federal government. Regardless of his personal moral view of slavery, he was confined by his constitutional role and duty. As he said in 1865, with barely a month left to live, "both parties deprecated war, but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive, and the other would accept war rather than let it perish, and the war came. One-eighth of the whole population were colored slaves, not distributed generally over the Union, but localized in the southern part of it. These slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that this interest was somehow the cause of the war. To strengthen, perpetuate, and extend this interest was the object for which the insurgents would rend the Union even by war, while the Government claimed no right to do more than to restrict the territorial enlargement of it. Neither party expected for the war the magnitude or the duration which it has already attained. Neither anticipated that the cause of the conflict might cease with or even before the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding."

Fundamental and astounding indeed. Emancipation was a political and military act, done under his authority as commander-in-chief. The measure all but precluded European support of the south,once the end of slavery was made an official war aim. It is true that the Emancipation Proclamation freed no slaves, as it was only effective in areas beyond the reach of federal authority. The preliminary proclamation was the last offer made to restore the old union, if the states in rebellion ceased hostilities. December 31, 1862, was Humpty Dumpty's last day, the last day of the old America. On January 1, 1863, when he issued the final proclamation, Lincoln initiated the second American revolution. No matter what happened on the battlefield, America would never be the same. It would either be two nations sharing the space that had been one, or one nation profoundly changed forever. On that day, Abraham Lincoln committed the full faith and credit of the United States to the destruction of slavery and the re-shaping of the Union. There was no turning back.

Was he perfect, did he lack flaws and failings? Of course not. Was he a product of his times? Certainly. Yet this man from humble origins transcended the times he lived in. He understood his nation and his people better perhaps than any president before or since. While it is fair to criticize and question, in doing so, we must not lose sight of the one fundamental truth, that as has been said of Washington in his time, Lincoln was the indispensable man. The nation we know, for better or worse, would not exist without him.

Happy birthday, Father Abraham. You do indeed belong to the ages.

Eric Cantor, Congressman Creep

Yes, Mr. Cantor. You’re a creep. As in someone who creates something vulgar and promulgates it at someone else’s expense – e.g., “Barack the Magic Negro” or this anti-union video – and then dismisses the whole thing by claiming it was “a joke.”

Not only is this not “funny” but it mocks blue collar working class people and demeans the dignity of the individual.

So this mean-spirited garbage is what passes for Republican “humor"?

Shame on you, Eric Cantor.

Tomorrow, and oh by the way, **** off, Chimpy.

Tomorrow marks the 200th anniversary of two great and transformational figures. Both Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin came into this world on February 12, 1809.

I was watching a Lincoln special on PBS, and the host interviewed recent occupants of the White House for their take on the 16th president. The simian boy king had the gall to compare himself with Lincoln, as both were president "during unpopular wars." Please. Spare me.

Lincoln reluctantly made war because he believed it was his constitutional duty to preserve the union, and in doing so, he both saved and transformed the nation. Bush started a war because he was bored.

Play "Spot the Differences!"

Spot the Differences!

Can you spot the differences between the two pictures??

Disloyal Opposition Compares Self to Taliban Insurgency

Texas (no surprises there) Congressman Peter Sessions made unwelcome news for those Republicans who can fit in one closet (you know, for NON-CRAZIES) when he made a serious pitch to change the “GOP” acronym with this interview to Hotline:

Before his mouth could be hermetically sealed with foot/leg by sluggish aides, Sessions said “Insurgency, we understand perhaps a little bit more because of the Taliban. And that is that they went about systematically understanding how to disrupt and change a person’s entire processes.”

Whoa. Now wrap your head around this one: “… disrupt and change a person’s entire processes”? Who might that “person” be: Hmm, let’s see … President Obama?

Sessions later backpedaled like, well, a madman. But the damage/Freudian slip was done. Sessions’ Democratic counterpart, Rep. Chris Van Hollen of Maryland, jumped on him with both feet:

“NRCC Chairman Pete Sessions’ remark comparing his own party’s tactics during the economic recovery debate to those of a terrorist group in Afghanistan is truly shocking. While House Republican leaders profess to seek bipartisanship, they are comparing their tactics to the violent tactics used by the Taliban insurgency.”

Meanwhile, scandal-ridden RNC Chairman Michael Steele was having difficulty distinguishing between a private sector “job” and government “work,” even though President Obama stressed that 90% of the jobs in the stimulus package would be offered through the private sector.

Wild guess here: could it because Steele arranged for his 2006 Senate campaign to pay a defunct company run by his sister for services that were never performed, his finance chairman from that campaign has told federal prosecutors? You know, quasi-government (campaign) “work” that was NEVER DONE!

Ah, the Republican Party (GOP or GOT?) … the gift that keeps on giving. Pictured below are Mullahs Peter Sessions and John Cornyn from the insurgent Province of Texanistan. Mullah Cornyn, a vociferous critic of the stimulus package and all things Obama, was a no-show on the Senate vote.

Everyone’s an Economist in D.C., Even Mullah Mitch McConnell

The other day, as he introduced a team of outside economic advisers, President Obama bemoaned the economic and historical illiteracy of certain obstructionists responsible for crafting economic policy in the Congress: “You’ve got some economists and some folks who think they’re economists. By the way, these days everybody thinks they’re economists.”

The President’s criticism was more pointed in his brilliant press conference on Monday:

“And in fact there are several who have suggested that FDR was wrong to intervene back in the New Deal. They're fighting battles that I thought were resolved a pretty long time ago.”

No kidding.

Evidently, the memo didn’t reach the Republican insurgents’ leader, Mullah Mitch McConnell, pictured below.



McConnell, who is still navigating the murky waters of New Deal denialism (rather than reading, say, A HISTORY BOOK!) said on the Senate floor before voting against the President’s stimulus bill:

“But one of the good things about reading history is you learn a good deal. And, we know for sure that the big spending programs of the New Deal did not work. In 1940, unemployment was still 15%. And, it's widely agreed among economists, that what got us out of the doldrums that we were in during the Depression was the beginning of World War II."

Let the experts -- one historian and one Nobel Prize winining economist -- answer this STUPIDITY. Jonathan Alter, a senior editor at Newsweek and author of “The Defining Moment,” about FDR’s first 100 days, said:

It’s ridiculous. [McConnell] needs to spend a little time in the library in Kentucky and read more than the right wing critiques. What was he imagining, that tax cuts got us out of the Depression? It was GOVERNMENT SPENDING that got us out of the Depression. First, FDR was able to cut the unemployment rate from 25% to 14%. Now they might not consider that successful (unless) you were in that group of millions and millions of Americans that were put to work and had their hope restored. Overall the New Deal was tremendously successful.”

Noting that FDR certainly wouldn’t have been reelected carrying all but two states (and elected for a third term) if the people didn’t believe his programs were working, Alter concluded with a word to the wise that will surely fall on deaf ears: “Republicans would do well to remembers this.”

Nobel Prize winner for Economics Paul Krugman minced no words in stating that FDR should not have taken his hand off the accelerator when he listened to those on the other side who argued for a balanced budget in 37-38:

“Note in particular that in 1937-38 FDR was persuaded to do the “responsible” thing and cut back — and that’s what led to the bad year in 1938, which to the WSJ crowd defines the New Deal.

Implications for Obama: be inspired by FDR, but don’t imitate him slavishly. In particular, your economic policy should be bolder, not more cautious.”

Incidentally, WWII economic policy was precisely the largest infusion of government spending in the history of the Republic, to that date. Speaking of historical revisionism, the President addressed the McCains and McConnells of this world, still wedded to the fantasy of Reagan/Bushonomics:

“First of all, when I hear that from folks who presided over a doubling of the national debt, then, you know, I just want them to not engage in some revisionist history. I inherited the deficit that we have right now and the economic crisis that we have right now.”

And so, to Mullah Mitch McConnell, representing millions of trickle-down snake oil (VOODOO) economics salesmen, including Reagan wunderkin David Stockman who recanted Reaganomics as a fraud and now faces jail time (on unrelated charges):

Welcome back to the White House, Grammar. We missed you!

Grammar (gram-mar, noun) [gram-er]--the the study of the way the sentences of a language are constructed; morphology and syntax; the knowledge or usage of the preferred or prescribed forms in speaking or writing.

How refreshing is it to have a president who speaks English, and doesn't follow one round of stupidity with "in other words" and then more stupidity. The grownups are back in charge.

Kudos, Doc, and welcome back.

It's been a while

Since I intentionally turned on a speech by our President. I have to keep reminding myself that "from the White House" no longer necessarily means lies and obfuscation.

Ben and Jerry's "Yes, Pecan!"

In honor of President Obama's election, Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream has a new flavor, Yes, Pecan!

For George W. they asked for suggestions from the public.
Here are some of their favorite responses:

* Grape Depression
* The Housing Crunch
* Abu Grape
* Cluster Fudge
* Nut'n Accomplished
* Good Riddance You Lousy Mother#@!# ... Swirl
* Iraqi Road
* Chock 'n Awe
* WireTapioca
* Impeach Cobbler
* Guantanmallow
* imPeachmint
* Heck of a Job, Brownie!
* Neocon Politan
* Rocky Road to Fascism
* The Reese's-cession
* Cookie D'oh!
* Nougalar Proliferation
* Death by Chocolate... and Torture
* Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream
* Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder
* Credit Crunch
* Mission Pecanplished
* Country Pumpkin
* Chunky Monkey in Chief
* WMDelicious
* Chocolate Chimp
* Bloody Sundae
* Caramel Preemptive Stripe
* I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands . . . with nuts

Off to the nation's capital

Business trip time, influenza, dysentery, typhoid, plague et al notwithstanding. Wanna be the lucky guy/gal in Seat 12B tomorrow? See you Sunday.

Who feels worse...

Me, with my explosive head cold (35,000 feet will be fun tomorrow) AND a cracked filling or

just back from surgery.

But he's gonna be fine.

Oh Tom, it's corner time!

So Daschle is gone.

Good riddance. Buh bye.

The president's appointments are a concern. Love the guy, but vet much? Two withdraw, one damaged.

Long-time senator? Sure. Rumored to be a decent guy? Yes.

BUT, he was the ultimate Democratic enabler of the Bush nightmare of civil liberties abuses.

He raked in millions from interests that he might be regulating. He had a CHAUFFEUR and a luxury car. He took private jets to exotic locations. He "endorsed" Obama and couldn't deliver South Dakota for Obama in the primary?

His explanation from a spokesman was "Mr. Daschle told committee staff he had become used to having a car and driver as Senate majority leader and did not think to report the perquisite on his taxes, according to staff members."

Right. Drivers, private jets, you know--regular stuff. Stuff all of us would never consider to be "pay."

So, former Sen. Daschle:

Mr. Blackwell, I mean Mr. Card, isn't happy

Former Bush minion Andy Card apparently is upset found that the president and members of his administration don't always dress like funeral directors while engaged in the heavy lifting of cleaning up one Bush disaster after another. He whined that:

Ronald Reagan and both President Bushes treated the Oval Office with tremendous respect. They treated the Office of the Presidency with tremendous respect. And some of that respect was reflected in how they expected people to behave, how they expected them to dress when they walked into the symbol of freedom for the world, the Oval Office. And yes, I'm disappointed to see the casual, laissez faire, short sleeves, no shirt and tie, no jacket, kind of locker room experience that seems to be taking place in this White House and the Oval Office.

Yup, they destroyed the country, trashed the constitution and caused havoc around the world, but they looked good doing it!

I just happened to come across this old memo from Andy:

From: Andrew Card, Chief of Staff
To: White House Staff

It has come to my attention that members of the staff have taken a rather lax approach to our dress code. Shall we go over a few basics again?

1) DO NOT wear white or invade countries without cause after Labor Day.

2) Solid colors with renditioning is SO last year.

3) Earth tones with wiretapping, people, earth tones! Pastels and terrorist surveillance? I don't think so!

4) PLEASE make sure than any detainees wearing black hoods have matching shoes and bags.

5) If you're going to out a CIA agent, be REALLY out. Bold, bold, bold, people, bold!

6) Remember, enhanced interrogation is the new torture!

And finally, for all departing staff, remember that you should always dress for the job you want, so let's all DRESS LIKE LOBBYISTS!

Toodles,

Andy

Sorry Senator Daschle, but no. That isn't how we do things.

I've heard he's a great guy, and he's surely well-qualified. But do we want to start an administration with those who scoff at the tax laws involving corporate perqs???

Man of Steele

Well, the Republican National Committee picked former Maryland lieutenant governor Michael Steel, pictured below, to be their new chairman:


[You may recall that Mr. Steele lied about having Oreos thrown at him at a function]

While he's a bright guy, with better legal credentials than I have, he is also, what's the word I'm looking for...oh, right, HE'S CRAZY. He compared stem cell research to Nazi experiments in concentration camps.

But while odd, he's not as reprehensible as his rival for the job, Chip Saltsman (who sent out the mailings with the "Barack the Magic Negro" ditty, incompetent like outgoing chair Mike Duncan, or as corrupt and racist as former chair Haley Barbour. He also doesn't have the unique problem of former chair Ken Mehlman, pictured below:

[Don't believe me? Click here]

After all, it's difficult to be the head of a party built on gay-bashing when you are...Ken Mehlman.

But back to Mr. Steele. If I was searching for new Republican leadership, I'm sure that an anti-science hard-core Bushie is where I'd turn...Right.

Your Future Correspondent

Hello from 2012.

Well-informed political observes thought that after their crushing defeat in 2008 that the Republican party might leave demagoguery and discredited supply-side economics behind. Those well-informed observers couldn't have been more wrong. After tacking even further to the right and playing the role of obstructionists in Congress, the voters in 2010 turned out every Republican member of Congress that were up for election, and most of those that weren't. In fact, approximately 40 states elected their THIRD Democratic senator. The courts are still sorting that one out.

In a last desperate attempt, the GOP nominated two, well, pieces of the same old crap, in 2012. Heading up the ticket was formerly imprisoned Alaska governor and new mom and great-grandmother Sarah Palin, with Mittens "Mittens" Romney filling out the ticket. The excitement was palpable at their rallies

culminating with their dramatic speeches st the party's convention before packed houses.

In November 2012, the Democrats carried all but one state, along with the District of Columbia, all 162 foreign countries that somehow registered to vote and all but one of the planets (the Republicans carried Utah and Mars, the "red" planet.") It was an overwhelming victory for the Obama-Kuchinich ticket.

In an earlier interview, given just after the repeal of the constitutional limits on presidential terms, President Obama discussed his decision to replace Vice President Biden on the ticket. He said, "Well, sure, Dennis is an annoying little dweeb, and I can post him up in one-on-one hoops all day long. But in terms of dweebs, with Joe, that's pretty much a wash. The key--their wives. Who would you rather have around you, some education wonk talking learning theory all the time or a hot redhead with a tongue stud?"

Reporting live from the future, now back to you in the studio.

Another Blago tribute from the Brits

While I find the words of Shelley below describing the forgotten wreckage of a ruler with delusions of grandeur compelling, perhaps the elegant words of a British romantic poet are out of place when discussing now former Gov. Cognitive Dissonance Hairclubformen. SO, given that his real first name is not Rod, but Milorad, I thought the song about the fellow here might better serve the occasion:

Milorad, Milorad
Riding through the land!
Milorad, Milorad, without a merry band
He steals from the poor
and gives to the rich
... Stupid bitch!

(Apologies to the non-Python fans for this tremendous waste of time.)

Blago-mandias, King of Kings

The senate is posturing and speaking now, but "unconfirmed sources" are leaking that the vote to boot will be unanimous.Continuing his theater of the absurd, he spewed forth an incomprehensible stream of consciousness denial of EVERYTHING. Bye. [Note: It was of course unanimous. Just think, in one fortnight, no more Bush or Blago!]

And of course, a politically-connected firm received several hundred thousand dollars of tollway money to put up these:

As Shelley wrote:

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains.
Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck,
boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Kabul-sh*t

One thing that has been on my mind lately is this unspoken assumption that Afghanistan is somehow a "good" war that can be "won" by tossing a couple more brigades that way.

Let us not forget that it wasn't Reagan's runaway defense spending here that brought the Soviet Union down. There were myriad factors, from corruption and internal rot to economic stagnation and WAAY too much vodka and too little productivity.

However, if there was one thing that sent the USSR to history's graveyard, it was its debacle in Afghanistan, an endless war in a hostile environment against foes from too many factions to count.

The "country" is a hellhole that produces three products for export--heroin, concrete and terrorists. What is the endgame here? Or do we share the fate of the USSR in this God-forsaken land?

"I Won."

President Obama needs to remember those words in dealing with the congressional Republicans. He won. They lost--big time.

I applaud the president's willingness to go the extra mile (one more trip to the Hill to meet with minority leadership and he matches Bush's eight-year total.) His willingness to listen after eight years of "**** you" from the White House is certainly refreshing. However, negotiating with a party whose response is to petulantly take their ball and go home is pointless.

The Republicans had control of all aspects of government, and clearly demonstrated that they can't govern. Dick Cheney said that Reagan taught us that "deficits don't matter." No, Reagan taught us that Republican economic policies don't work. He taught us that tax cuts for the rich are nothing more than a scam that would embarrass Bernie Madoff.

In 2001, the Republicans received the keys to the car. It wasn't a brand new vehicle fresh off the assembly line, no new car smell, but it was a steady reliable car in good operating condition. They got liquored up and took it out and wrapped it around a tree.

Pray tell, WHY would we want driving tips from them?

RIP John Updike

A great American author has died. In these video interviews with the NYT, Updike reflects on his craft, fellow writers, and characters. In a second segment he gives us a fascinating glimpse at how his most famous character, Rabbit Angstrom, would view President Obama.

Re: Peter's "Buh Bye, George" post below

Here's the definitive farewell site with its fine and appropriate title.

A note on Blago and impeachment

I've heard some well-informed and well-intentioned people misspeak about the impeachment of Gov. Blagojevich, pictured below



For example, Bill Press said on his show this morning that Blago had not been CONVICTED of any crime, is it fair to impeach him?

YES, a thousand times YES.

[NOTE: ENTERING LAWYER MODE BELOW]

For one thing, the rather awful Illinois constitution allows impeachment for "cause." No one knows what "cause" means, but let's assume for sake of discussion that the more developed "high crimes and misdemeanors" standard from the feds applied. The concept is the same. I would recommend to you the House Judiciary Committee report prepared in 1974 in anticipation of the Nixon impeachment, which obviously was short-circuited by his resignation. As that report makes clear, impeachment is a POLITICAL matter, not a criminal one. In fact, in the federal constitution specifically provides that removal from office/disqualification is the ONLY penalty.

As the report makes clear, going back to the English origins of "high crimes and misdemeanors," these actions arise from charges of official power or trust. Impeachment and removal is appropriate even if there is no criminal conviction.

And here is why I don't watch talking heads...

I found myself watching "Morning Joe" this A.M. The local news was blaring ALL BLAGO ALL THE TIME and the sports outlets were trying their damnest to hype an unhypeable Super Bowl. So I went to MSNBC, hoping for a break from the banal. Instead I was treated to stupidity - and "Joe" wasn't even there!! Instead it was Mica-with-the-unpronounceable-last-name (but she is middle-aged-newsy hot) and an assortment of constipated aging men and Tucker Carlson look-alikes. I listened for about a half hour. I was treated to BLAGO (but for only a few minutes) and TARP (they don't understand it) and SUPER BOWL (incestuous promotion via the NBC family) and then the story which made me run to this blog. It was a "health" story and in a nutshell: fast food is really bad for you but it's cheaper to buy McDonald's than making it yourself. And they went on and on about how America eats too much fast food but it's so damned easy and inexpensive, who can blame America for doing so... Now these supposedly smart people couldn't see how absolutely WRONG they are. Here is a lesson I teach to junior high school students and they get it in a heartbeat.

A family of four goes to McDonald's. Mom and Dad each buy a "Big Mac Value Meal" for $4.00 and the kids each get a $3.00 happy meal. The "food" purchased consists of the following:

3/4 of a pound of beef (each Big Mac has 2 patties, each weighing .125 pounds, and each happy meal burger weighs the same .125 pounds... so there are 6 patties X .125 = .75 pounds)

5 buns (each hamburger gets one bun, while the 2 Big Macs share 3 buns)

~ 1/2 pound of french fries

~ 56 ounces of soda

2 slices of cheese, and nominal amounts of lettuce, pickles, ketchup, onion, and "special sauce"

TOTAL FAST FOOD COST: $15.40 (includes 10% sales tax)


Now let's go to the store:

1.5 lb package of 80% lean meat (the same quality of McDonald's hamburger meat) $4.00

8 pack of hamburger buns - $2.25

4 liters of soda - $3.50

1 lb - french fries - 1.25

Head of lettuce - $1.00

1 lb onions - $.50

.125 lb of deli sliced american cheese - $.50

16 oz. bottle of ketchup - $1.00

24 oz jar of pickles - $2.25

TOTAL COST $16.50 (including 2.5% tax)

I may be a bit off on the individual items, but the costs really nearly EXACTLY the same... Here's the difference: I bought enough for TWO dinners at the store (and I will have plenty of lettuce left over to make a salad). Now there is the time factor - it's a lot faster/easier to just go to McDonald's than it is to shop/prepare a meal. However, the fact is that fast food saps the family budget unnecessarily, and this nonsense about how cheap it is belies the fact that this is really about laziness and marketing.

However, I need to thank the good people at MSNBC... now I remember why I stopped watching...

When we have a REAL attorney general...

Eric Holder will be confirmed this week after the Republicans' silly little delay game. Finally, an honest prosecutor, who may well investigate and prosecute many from the Bush administration, including

The president

The vice president

Harriet Miers

Alberto Gonzalez

and most of all, Karl Rove.

Sorry for my absence

Gizzmo, the dog I didn't want (Daughter worked at a pet store and fell in love with the furball pup, who now runs my life)


pulled through Round 1 of emergency treatment for intestinal blockage, etc, but has round 2 of surgery for bladder stones as soon as stable.

Denial's not just a river in Illinois

CHICAGO – Illinois' embattled but defiant governor turned to the history books to describe the emotional strain on him and his family, comparing his arrest last month to Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor.

"Dec. 9 to my family, to us, to me, is what Pearl Harbor Day was to the United States," Gov. Rod Blagojevich told The Associated Press in an interview Thursday. "It was a complete surprise, completely unexpected. And just like the United States prevailed in that, we'll prevail in this."

In Case this went Unnoticed

Few remarked on the poignant history and poetic relevance of Aretha Franklin's beautiful rendition of "My Country 'Tis of Thee." Except perhaps for Queen Latifah, who mentioned Marian Anderson briefly the day before amid the din of a star-studded concert at the Lincoln Memorial.

In 1939, the great African American opera singer Marian Anderson was barred by the racist "Daughters of the American Revolution" from giving a concert at the DAR hall. First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt immediately cancelled her membership with the DAR and invited Anderson to perform at the Lincoln Memorial.

In 2009, Aretha Franklin sang before millions of people, come to celebrate our first African American president. With the Lincoln Memorial shimmering in the distance, as if floating above a sea of humanity, the symbolism of the occasion could not be more beautifully drawn: We hold these truths to be self-evident a step closer across the generations. And a song.

Quote of the day

From one of the executive orders President Obama signed today:

From this day forward, unless the Attorney General with appropriate consultation provides further guidance, officers, employees, and other agents of the United States Government may, in conducting interrogations, act in reliance upon Army Field Manual 2 22.3, but may not, in conducting interrogations, rely upon any interpretation of the law governing interrogation -- including interpretations of Federal criminal laws, the Convention Against Torture, Common Article 3, Army Field Manual 2 22.3, and its predecessor document, Army Field Manual 34 52 issued by the Department of Justice between September 11, 2001, and January 20, 2009.

In other words, former President Bush - Go Jump in a Woodchipper!

Buh bye, George

It was such a joy to see George Bush leave forever (unless for his trial). And guess what, now that he no longer needs the phony "ranch" to be a phony "cowboy," he heads to Dallas?

I wonder how many nights Laura, pictured below, stays under the same roof?

Ted in Duress?

Apparently Ted Kennedy was taken out after a seizure?

Memo to Ben Franklin

Ben, thanks for your insight. You wrote that "[t]hey who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."

The PRESIDENT today echoed your sentiment, when he said that "we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals."

Memo to the Chief Justice

Learn your damn lines.

Thanks.

On the Bush administration's "accomplishments" below.

I was talking about this with a friend at work, and he had an interesting perspective. He saw nothing good from the Bush years except for one transformational aspect--the fact that Bush was so loathsome, was a failure on such a cosmic level, that he actually made possible the rise of Obama. If he had not sucked so very royally, then America might not have been able to embrace such a dramatic step. Because he was the Bob Beamon of worst presidents ever, not only breaking, but smashing the former record, Bush made this day possible. Without the absolute debacle of George Bush, the Democrats may well nominate a mediocre white candidate who loses to a mediocre Republican candidate. George made today happen, in effect.

My bad analogy was that W was the botulism-laden piece of meat that makes one a vegetarian.

God Bless America!

IT IS DONE!

Hail, indeed, to the Chief.

Step One

Replace Dick Cheney with Joe Biden. Check.

That's a hell of a trade, right there.

A Stirring of Emotions

This quote from Robert Kennedy seems appropriate on this beautiful day.

Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

Robert Francis Kennedy

A warped, frustrated old man...

So Darth Cheney strained his back "lifting boxes." RIIIGHT. I believe he has people for that? I'm sure he was prostrating himself before his Dark Lord over his last official meal of Cream o' Wheat and kittens.

But anyway, the image of Cheney below


provides the perfect contrast to the young, strong and vibrant new president.

At least we won't have to see Dick again (please please please) until his trial.

Historical ramblings below

I have been pondering the significance of tomorrow for quite some time now. I am somewhat reluctant to join in the wave of hope and hyperbole, the myriad dreams that cannot help but go unfulfilled, but yet I cannot escape the sense that we are watching truly historic forces at play here. This is one of those rare moments in history where the republic may well invent itself.

There are very few such moments. You can count them on one hand.

The first obviously is our revolutionary founding, making something from nothing. Our revolutionary history is greatly misunderstood, I believe, and its heritage not fully appreciated. That comes in part from our romanticization of the "founding fathers" as well as from their own self-contradictions. They spoke of self-sacrifice, but for the most part were wealthy men. The most blatant problem, of course, was accurately penned by the wit of Dr. Samuel Johnson, who was amused that he heard the "loudest yelps for liberty among the drivers of negroes.”

Yes, they were conflicted and contradictory, but we should know the heritage they left us, of commonwealth and republic. Both basically mean the same thing, the "common good." For a rather old, but still brilliant exposition of this notion, see Bernard Bailyn's Idealogical Origins of the American Revolution. Revolution came from corruption. A once-sacrosant British constitution had been undermined by faction, greed and corruption. The antithesis of corruption was virtue. Virtuous citizens were not rapaciously acquisitive. No, they sacrificed for the common good, the res publica. The argument for revolution was that England was hopelessly corrupt, and to preserve the rights of Englishmen, separation was necessary.

Thomas Jefferson expressed this sentiment well, when he described the Louisiana Purchase as an "Empire for Liberty." He envisioned the purchase as the source of land for generations of yeoman farmers to come.

Unfortunately, res publica crashed into westward expansion, and self-sacrifice and virtue dissolved into acquisitive capitalism. However, transformation was not done.

The American Civil War, where millions of dollars of "property" in humanity became valueless, and the promise of the Declaration, postponed by an ambivalent and somewhat cowardly revolutionary generation, was set on its way to fulfillment. Abraham Lincoln, on January 1, 1863, committed the full force of federal arms to fundamentally reshaping American society.

It is 1933, and America confronts fear itself. FDR, an aristocrat who came into office wedded to a balanced budget, realizes the nature of the moment and commits government to doing something that had not been done to date. Government, in FDR's New Deal, existed to do POSITIVE GOOD in society.

And now, Barack Obama confronts the same challenge, the challenge to stand in his place as we re-invent America. He needs to seize and direct those elements of all the earlier seismic changes. The notions of the public good, virtue, self-sacrifice, the citizenry and personhood of all, and government as a transformational force, must all be celebrated as the defining values of what the new America will become.

Yes we can.

Twenty four

One day to go. I really am having trouble wrapping my wind around the idea that as of tomorrow at this time, they'll be gone.

Can you think of ONE accomplishment of the Bush administration?

Seriously. Just one thing they didn't screw up? I honestly can't.

I am a nerd, a total geek. Like our friend Lula, I also like to play in the kitchen.

It will just be the family, but tomorrow night I'm hosting a "state dinner" to celebrate this historic inauguration. All the dishes come from previous WH state dinners. I'm printing out the following menu, and downloaded (legally) Hail to the Chief, and great inaugural speeches for background music.

Inaugural Dinner
The White House

New England Lobster Bisque

Salade of Warm Pear and Bleu Cheese
with
Baby Greens

Medallions of Duck
with
Roasted Baby Beets

Crepes
with Vanilla Custard

Inauguration Concert, pt 2

I've always thought Garth Brooks' "We Shall Be Free" would make an awfully good song for a DNC event. It didn't make the connection, but Garth singing it at the concert today was pretty sweet.

Inauguration

There's going to be a lot of hoopla this week, but there are some moments that just look cool. Bruce Springsteen playing on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in front of a throng filling the mall and surrounding the reflecting pool is one of them.

Although there was just a moment proving that not all skills are inherited. Martin Luther King III just introduced a clip of JFK's inaugural speech as his "Office of Oath."