Friday, October 06, 2006

Pot, I have the kettle on Line 1 for you

From Newt Gingrich: "What we don't have to do is allow our friends on the left to lecture us on morality"

Newt, need I remind you that you SERVED DIVORCE PAPERS on your DYING WIFE???? (and then later dumped the Tart du Jour.)'s not just for breakfast any more.

Andy Warhol on Rep. Happypants

Even though he died in 1987!

"Sex is more exciting on the screen
and between the pages than between the sheets."

Article II, Section 3--Scratch that

"he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed"

WASHINGTON -- President Bush, again defying Congress, says he has the power to edit reports by the Homeland Security Department about whether it obeys privacy rules while handling background checks, ID cards and watch lists. In the law Bush signed Wednesday, Congress stated that no one but the privacy officer could alter, delay or prohibit the mandatory annual report on Homeland Security Department activities that affect privacy, including complaints.
But Bush, in a signing statement attached to the agency's 2007 spending bill, said he will interpret that section "in a manner consistent with the president's constitutional authority to supervise the unitary executive branch."

Article II, Section 3, go sit over there with the 1st, 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th and 14th amendments, and all those other "unnecessary" and "obsolete" provisions. It was nice knowing you.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Another "Thinking or Sitting" Exclusive

We here at "The Thinker -- or Just Sitting Around" are pleased to provide you with an exclusive copy of the official investigation by John Shimkus (R-IL), U.S. Representative, and Chair of the U.S. House of Representatives Page Committee into the activities of Mark Foley (R-FL), Co-Chair of the U.S. House of Representatives Caucus for Abused and Exploited Children.

Scene: Cloak Room - U.S. House of Representatives. Rep. Shimkus finds Rep. Foley hunched over a laptop computer...

Shimkus: Mark, you got a minute? Hey! why are your pants around your ankles?

Foley: My aide is bringing me some fresh dry-cleaned clothes, and you know, I am working on some serious business here. (types feverishly)

Shimkus: I've received a pretty troubling note from the parents of a page.

Foley: (eyes roll back into his head as he stares into his laptop) Uhhhhhhhhhhh.... Sorry - what was that?

Shimkus: Parents of a page - they're saying that you've been sending emails to their son.

Foley: (adjusts the crotch on his pants) Yeah, right. He's really hot - er, I mean, I was concerned about him - he was in a hot spot.

Shimkus: Well, they're worried, that you're being too friendly with him.

Foley: Well that's a load of crap!! (turns way from laptop, grabs several kleenex from a dispenser and turns his back) You know that I try hard to be a mentor to these boys, so far from home - so far from adult supervision (wipes drool from his chin).

Shimkus: Well that's all well and good, but there are concerns. You really need to dial back on your contact with this kid.

Foley: Really? (zips up his pants, closes laptop). Well, I need to go vote on this Internet Child Protection bill. Is there anything else?

Shimkus: No, I guess that covers it. So you'll stay away from the kid?

Foley: Yeah sure - Scout's Honor (crosses fingers behind his back).

Shimkus: Thanks a lot Mark. You've taken a great burden from my mind. I guess I can consider the matter closed. Hey, you've got a stain on your pants there.... Where's your aide with the drycleaning?

Foley: I'm sure he's around somewhere. See you later John (walks to the chamber door).

Shimkus: OK, bye Mark.

Operation "Hey, Look Over There!"

OK, I'll can the "Frostbite Falls" bit--ANY humor here is completely inappropriate
Four US soldiers have been killed in an attack in north-west Baghdad, the US military said....The latest deaths bring to 21 the number of Americans killed in combat since Saturday.
Of course a sex scandal attracts the attention of that tiny percentage of Retard America that pays ANY attention to politics, but may I remind you that Iraq's hellhole is raging out of control and of course, Afghanistan is meeting RECORD levels of opium production, while the administration weaves toward attacking Iran. One creep and however many kids is distracting attention away from an impending disaster.

Murrow on Hastert

"Have you no decency, sir?" asked Murrow, using the words of a witness before McCarthy's committee. The answer by Denny Hastert---apparently not.
In an interview with the Tribune on Wednesday night, Hastert said he had no thoughts of resigning and he blamed ABC News and Democratic operatives for the mushrooming scandal that threatens his tenure as speaker and Republicans' hold on power in the House.

Sports superstars help us count down to Election Day

I should have started this yesterday with Sweetness, but I forgot.

Larry Bird

Add your own.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

A sure sign of the apocalypse

Hannidate - The place where people of like conservative minds can come together to meet. Whether you are looking for a life partner, or just someone to hang out with, here you'll be able to find exactly who you are looking for, locally or around the world.

Yep, the above is real--Sean Hannity's dating service. Just think...
Men, are you tired of calling those numbers you find scrawled in truckstop bathrooms? Ladies, are those hours you've spent lookin' for love at the Greyhound station and the police impound lot just not working? Then try Hannidate to find that mouthbreather of your dreams! And PLEASE remember to have your Hannity listener spayed or neutered!

Meanwhile, back in Frostbite Falls


Al-Zaman reports that 21 US troops have been killed in Iraq since Saturday, with 8 killed on Monday alone. As of Tuesday, 23,416 US troops have been wounded or killed in the Iraq War.

FoxNews: We're big fat liars

Damn lying fuckers:

Caption Contest!

Brownie AND Foley--


You are not allowed to disagree with der Fuhrer!

From the Rocky Mountain News:

Steven Howards saw a news story one morning this summer reporting the latest casualty totals from Iraq, and a few hours later had the rare opportunity to voice his feelings to a man he considers directly responsible.

Doing so, Howards said, sent him to jail for allegedly harassing the vice president of the United States. And now he is responding with a federal lawsuit against the Secret Service agent who put him in handcuffs.

The suit filed Tuesday alleges that Howards was arrested in retaliation for having exercised his First Amendment right of free speech, and that his arrest also violated his Fourth Amendment protection against unlawful arrest.


"Many of us fantasize what would we do if we had the opportunity to really tell Mr. Bush or Mr. Cheney how we feel," said Howards, 54, of Golden.

"And to be honest, when I passed him, my initial thought was to keep walking. And then I said, I couldn't with a clear conscience let this opportunity pass."

So Howards approached the vice president and told him, " 'Your policies in Iraq are reprehensible.' And I moved on. I didn't want to give anybody any excuses to come after me."

But a few minutes later, according to Howards, he was walking back across the mall with his younger son, Jonah, then 8, when he was approached by an agent identified in the lawsuit as Virgil D. "Gus" Reichle Jr.


Howards denied touching Cheney, repeated for the agent what he had said to the vice president, and promptly found himself being handcuffed and taken to the Eagle County Jail, where he said he remained cuffed for three hours prior to being bailed out by his wife.

Another Jabberwocky Moment

She puzzled over this for some time, but at last a bright thought struck her. Why, it's a Looking-glass book, of course! And if I hold it up to a glass, the words will all go the right way again.

Wow, that must be some strong looking glass to turn this one around:

Hastert Image, Party's Moral Stance at Risk

As the Mark Foley scandal ignites D.C., the GOP base wants answers from the top

By Michael Tackett
Tribune senior correspondent

WASHINGTON -- Republicans consolidated power in the George W. Bush era by building a foundation based largely on the pillars of moral clarity and accountability.

OK, let me try to get my head around that one. Kenny Boy and the national energy policy, Jack Abramoff, Scooter Libby, Duke Cunningham, yellowcake, Halliburton and no-bid contracts, Katrina and war profiteering, stealing stuff from Target and so on and so on....

It seems very pretty,' she said when she had finished it, `but it's rather hard to understand!' (You see she didn't like to confess, ever to herself, that she couldn't make it out at all.) `Somehow t seems to fill my head with ideas -- only I don't exactly know what they are!

It's possible to miss the point so completely that the argument gets clarified

HOUSTON - Alton Verm filed a "Request for Reconsideration of Instructional Materials" Thursday with the district regarding "Fahrenheit 451," written by Ray Bradbury and published in 1953. He wants the district to remove the book from the curriculum.

"It's just all kinds of filth," said Alton Verm, adding that he had not read "Fahrenheit 451."

He looked through the book and found the following things wrong with the book: discussion of being drunk, smoking cigarettes, violence, "dirty talk," references to the Bible and using God's name in vain. He said the book's material goes against their religions beliefs. The Verms go to Grand Parkway Church in Porter.

Alton Verm is the father of a fifteen year old who was given the classic anti-censorship book to read in class.

Alton Verm's request to ban "Fahrenheit 451" came during the 25th annual Banned Books Week. He and Hines said the request to ban "Fahrenheit 451," a book about book burning, during Banned Books Weeks is a coincidence.

The book has been used for at least 19 years in the district, and parents are given the option of having a different book assigned to their children. That, of course, is not good enough for Mr. Verm, who wants the book removed from the curriculum entirely. And just to prove the point about how dangerous thinking is, Diana Verm, the 15-year old in question, had this to say:

"The book had a bunch of very bad language in it. It shouldn't be in there because it's offending people. ... If they can't find a book that uses clean words, they shouldn't have a book at all."

They shouldn't have a book at all. Indeed.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

A quick note to all voters in Illinois' 14th District

Dear Folks:

If any of you vote for the Republican nominee, you are voting for an enabler of sexual abuse. I would love to hear how you sleep at night.

Have a nice day.

President Bush molests Straw Man, sets fire to own pants

STOCKTON, California (AP) -- President Bush, on a campaign swing in the West, is arguing the Democratic Party is weak-kneed on national security and shouldn't be trusted to hold the reins of Congress.

"If you listen closely to some of the leaders of the Democratic Party, it sounds like -- it sounds like -- they think the best way to protect the American people is, wait until we're attacked again," Bush said Monday at a $360,000 fundraiser in Reno, Nevada, for state Secretary of State Dean Heller's congressional campaign.

Bush delivered the administration's oft-repeated claims about the Democrats as it struggles with persistent questions about a recent intelligence report that suggests the Iraq war has helped recruit more terrorists, and a new book, "State of Denial," by journalist Bob Woodward that contends Bush misled the country about the war.

Mr. Lying Fuckwad Murderer Terrorist Coke Fiend Drunkard Jackass President, with all respect due to you and your office, go jump in a woodchipper.

Now, this I might have to look into

YearlyKos in Chicago next year

Some wonderful writing

From Bill Moyers, here.

How about this one?

It's a little older:

No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled, or deprived of his standing in any other way, nor will we proceed with force against him, or send others to do so, except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land.

Is this one still good?

I found this one lying around, and wondered if it was worth keeping:
The history of the present a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world:

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation

For depriving us, in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

Nah, didn't think so.

Where does this rank on the despicable scale?

Looks like the GOP is throwing ol' Denny Hastert under the bus. What a miserable miscreant. His story didn't even pass the smell test. So Rep. Foley was "overly friendly?" OK, maybe for one guy that isn't such a bad thing

but for any other guy that has to set off every "ick" alarm in town.

I know they've set the bar pretty low, with illegal wars and torture, but where does protecting a pedophile to maintain a congressional majority fit on the list of horrible things done by our government?

Who would you believe?

The nation which indulges towards another a habitual hatred or a habitual fondness is in some degree a slave..... The nation, prompted by ill-will and resentment, sometimes impels to war the government, contrary to the best calculations of policy. The government sometimes participates in the national propensity, and adopts through passion what reason would reject; at other times it makes the animosity of the nation subservient to projects of hostility instigated by pride, ambition, and other sinister and pernicious motives. The peace often, sometimes perhaps the liberty, of nations, has been the victim.

George Washington

At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it? Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant, to step the Ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never! All the armies of Europe, Asia and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the earth (our own excepted) in their military chest; with a Bonaparte for a commander, could not by force, take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years. At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide.

Abraham Lincoln

or the musings below from letter-writers who would receive the coveted "Go sit in the corner" treatment if I wasn't so angry:

The Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, isn't a descendent of the stereotypical wild-eye dictator. The threat from Islamic radicals, what some call Islamofascists, isn't ordinary. And the threat posed from even a handful of such zealots is significantly greater than the threats posed from Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin or Mao Tse-tung.

Mark E. Kramer

Iran is now governed by an Islamic dictatorship. If this dictatorship were to acquire nuclear weapons, it would almost certainly use them if its survival was threatened. I see no alternative to war.

Frank Brunner
Park Forest

All kidding aside

I've been having trouble wrapping my mind around the catastrophe that is our current Congress, and specifically the Torture Bill which passed last week (what's taking the Murderer in Chief so long to sign it, anyway? Waiting for a new shipment of blood beaten out of people at Gitmo?).

Thankfully, I don't have to come up with the words. Thomas Jefferson already did:

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

A robust, energetic hobbit just out of his tweens

Man, if I'm this cranky, and I'm just turning 33, what the hell am I going to sound like at 60?

I suppose if Drinky McTreason gets his way, I'll sound something like "Ow! Quit it! Stop torturing me! Man, I wish they'd never passed the law that said that the blackshirts could enter my home without warrant and torture me whenever they wanted. Ow!"

We'll be here all week. Try the chicken!

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "inserting the Foley".

Cue rimshot....

You have to admit--this Foley saga is a real page-turner!

The liberal media strikes again

From, in an article about Dennis "I would never ever do anything to hurt or job" Hastert and the Washington Times' call for him to resign as Speaker of the House:

The Times editorial could be a signal that conservative Republicans are growing tired of the moderate Hastert.

At one time, sure. But since he's become speaker, ol' Rubber Stamp Denny can't be called moderate by anyone with a functioning brain. Of course, this is CNN we're talking about.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Bill Frist reaches out to the Taliban

I could have sworn that we went into Afghanistan for two reasons:

1) To get Osama bin Laden. We know how well that's gone so far.

2) To remove the Taliban from power.

[Frist] said the only way to win in places like the volatile southern part of the country is to "assimilate people who call themselves Taliban into a larger, more representative government."

"Approaching counterinsurgency by winning hearts and minds will ultimately be the answer," Frist said. "Military versus insurgency one-to-one doesn't sound like it can be won. It sounds to me ... that the Taliban is everywhere."

ABC News digs up even more from Foley

Warning - this is really repulsive. Mark Foley was one very sick person. If you read this, you may need to wash your eyes out with rubbing alcohol.

We also know that as far back as 2001, people were warning pages in Congress to stay away from Foley. This is from after that. Denny, you done screwed up, big time.


Your Geriatric Offensive Pedophiles!

Mark Foley on Bill Clinton

"It's vile," said Rep. Mark Foley, R-West Palm Beach. "It's more sad than anything else, to see someone with such potential throw it all down the drain because of a sexual addiction."

drmagoo on the electoral prowl

As of today, we're at 36 days left until Election Day 2006 (call or write your representatives and let them know that Election Day should be a national holiday, and that there should be multiple verification techniques for ballots, if they care at all about honest election results). Yours truly is attempting to participate in the process, in my own small ways:

1) My university is hosting the Illinois Gubernatorial debate tonight. The moderately corrupt Democrat will be debating the Republican who was politically in bed with George Ryan, perhaps the most offensive politician to hold court in Illinois in a very long time. J-Barr also had the "honor" of overseeing the truly entertaining debacle that was the Republican campaign for the Senate in 2004.

2) For the first time in my life, I went looking for yard signs for local Democratic candidates. Of course, the county campaign office is open about 6 hours a week, and only 2 after 5 pm, so that will have to wait until tomorrow.

3) On 11/7, I'll be taking the day off work to serve as an election judge. The rep from the county clerk's office said that they're getting a lot of Democrats this year. I told her that "we just want to make sure everything goes correctly."

Why did they pull it down?

Sorry for the small pic, but they've pulled the page--Mark Foley, Protecting Our Children!

"Fake" emails, eh?

From ABC.

Maf54: I miss you lots since san diego.
Teen: ya I cant wait til dc
Maf54: :)
Teen: did you pick a night for dinner
Maf54: not yet…but likely Friday
Teen: ok…ill plan for Friday then
Maf54: that will be fun

Maf54: I want to see you
Teen: Like I said not til feb…then we will go to dinner
Maf54: and then what happens
Teen: we eat…we drink…who knows…hang out…late into the night
Maf54: and
Teen: I dunno
Maf54: dunno what
Teen: hmmm I have the feeling that you are fishing here…im not sure what I would be comfortable with…well see

Spin Cycle

If you dare go to Little Green Footballs and similar dreck sites (find them yourself, unfortunately, I won't promote them) you will see the new Foley spin--ALTERED EMAILS!! Seriously.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

A further note to visitors

Please don't come in here and accuse us of attacking Republicans for things we'd let Democrats slide on, at least unless you can create some evidence (out of whole cloth, I believe). If Barack Obama was in Foley's shoes, I'd be calling for Durbin and Reid's heads on a platter, the same as Hastert and Boehner. If we have to incarcerate 2000 Congresspeople and Senators to get rid of the creeps, then that's what we'd do. I'd rather have 535 honest and rational Republicans (assuming there was such creatures existed) than 535 perverted, creepy, corrupt Democrats.

That the GOP has the monopoly on corruption right now just makes the accusations pretty one-sided.

A note to "Anonymous" below

"Anonymous" commented below on Rep. Happypants:
One could certainly come to the conclusion that you're implying that only Republicans lie. It's not much of a stretch based on the content of this blog.
Well, Anon, I would certainly like to see some evidence that 1) Doc Magoo or anyone here made such an implication and 2) how that was based on the "content" of this blog.

First of all, in terms of "content." Sure we have an ideological bent. EVERYONE has an ideology, that complete body of all your life experiences, and your ideology influences how you deal with so many aspects of your life. Anyone who claims to be "impartial" or "objective" in so many areas is either naive or lying. If we have made factual errors, please point them out by comment or email.

Beyond that--there is no ideological lockstep on this blog. We publish your stuff, right? Any cogent thought goes up here, we have NEVER edited any comment for content. Unless it's downright spam, personal, racial, etc. --it goes up. And in terms of individuals? I teach Sunday School, we have atheists and agnostics, we have moderates, liberals, some libertarian influence, we're all across the board here in terms of ideology and occupation. We don't agree on things a lot of the time, and that's what makes it fun.

You write:
WHO is willing to do anything to retain and increase their power? Come on. You are accusing them of something that you yourself and the Democrats are incredibly guilty of. That's ridiculous for you to even suggest otherwise.
The press reports suggested that the SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE knew that a GOP member was engaging in improper sexual conduct with a youth. That speaker DID NOTHING before the election to deal with something INCREDIBLY disgusting. I don't know about you, Anonymous, but I would put not put party above principle on SEXUALLY SOLICITING CHILDREN??? Please post where "we" are guilty of such a thing? I don't care about control of Congress, this is a man IN A POSITION OF AUTHORITY engaging in inappropriate sexual contact with children.

Doc Magoo wrote:
That should be condemned by everyone, regardless of how it affects the election. If you don't, then you truly deserve to be with these bastards. and you responded
So, it's black and white, huh? You're either with us or against us. Now, isn't that the proverbial pot calling the kettle black. Neat political trick, that.
Yeah, I think you are either against pedophilia or not, sorry.