Saturday, January 13, 2007

The GOP with its priorities in place

At one of the crucial junctures of our nation's history, when we face both a constitutional crisis and the threat of a regional war in the Middle East, Rep. Jo Davis (Fascist-VA) introduced legislation to deal with our most pressing problem:

H. 107 To define marriage for all legal purposes in the District of Columbia to consist of the union of one man and one woman.
I know that Congress has authority over the district, but they have a LOCAL government that deals with these things. However, she must have acted because the wedding of Ed and Ted or Jane and June are the most important social problems facing the district. Never mind guns, drugs or school problems in D.C., we MUST stop homosexual nuptials!

It is odd though--Rep. Jo doesn't live in the district. Why should she care? Before ye of little faith think, though, that these are just GOP talking points, note that this is one powerhouse representative who has previously introduced crucial legislation calling for the James River to be named "America's Founding River." [editor's note: I've always felt the James has been slighted.]

And just one quick note on Rep. Jo. Besides winning the Joan Collins Over Made-Up Hag Award

we should point out this little factoid--she "attended" Hampton Roads Business College. We all know what "attended" means--she didn't finish. So to the fine folks of Virginia's 1st Congressional district, your representative is a typing school dropout!

My apologies

It was rude of me to suggest in the post below that the president's veinous, bulbous nose, bloodshot eyes and red blotchy complexion indicated that he was drinking again. We now know that he has beem prayerfully meeting with his grandfather

and his aunt

and his senior military commanders

Friday, January 12, 2007

Question for Schmidlap

WHY on earth would you think he's drinking?

The Straight Talk Express Derails Again

WASHINGTON - Sen. John McCain defended President Bush's Iraq plan on Friday as a difficult but necessary move, parting company with lawmakers fiercely resisting the military build up. "I believe that together these moves will give the Iraqis and Americans the best chance of success," said McCain, R-Ariz., a leading presidential contender for 2008.

McCain also took a shot at Democrats who say the United States must bring some troops home within four to six months. "I believe these individuals ... have a responsibility to tell us what they believe are the consequences of withdrawal in Iraq," he said. "If we walk away from Iraq, we'll be back, possibly in the context of a wider war in the world's most volatile region."

He has no shame whatsoever.

Editorial Change

Note to bumper sticker production team:

Please add "and Terrified" after "Appalled." Thanks, and it's been nice knowing you.


I've carped here before about the travel the Mrs. does for work, Paris, Rome, etc. Well, given that 1) it's our 30th anniversary as a couple, 2) our 25th wedding anniversary and 3) 30 years since my wonderful sophomore year spent there, we decided I would tag along on the Euroean group meeting this year. Where?

ATHENS, Greece (CNN) -- The U.S. Embassy in Athens has been hit by a rocket in an attack that anonymous callers claimed was staged by militant left-wing group, authorities said.

Thanks, George.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Ladies and Gentlemen, President Kang

Kang: "We must move forward... not backwards, not to the side, not forwards, but always whirling, whirling, whirling towards freedom!"

If only the federal constitution had learned from New Jersey

We could learn a thing or two from the Garden State:
No idiot or insane person shall enjoy the right of suffrage.
Just think of how much of Retard America couldn't have voted for W.

Cry, the Beloved Country

The esteemed Dr. Schmidlap has an astute diagnosis of GW syndrome here. I cannot dispute a word.

What struck me last night was the fact that I actually agreed with the preznit's first statement, that this "a struggle that will determine the direction of the global war on terror -- and our safety here at home." We know that to be true, because the reckless conduct of this administration has both generated worldwide hatred directed at us and expressed through acts of terrorism and made us far less safe here "at home."

This man has become Commodus. This ill-fated man was emperor of Rome in the 2nd century AD. He had delusions that he was a gladiator and a war hero, and would often "fight" in the arena in staged battles that he knew he would win. He dressed like Hercules, lion skins and clubs included

and believed (and insisted others repeat) that he was leading Rome into a new "Golden Age." Commodus fought battles he knew he would win, though, while W fights battles that only he believes can be won.

By the way, Commodus' mistress had a wrestler strangle him in his bath.


Shamelessly stolen from the BBC via Americablog via Daily Kos:

General: Now, Field Marshal Hague has formulated a brilliant new tactical plan to ensure final victory in the field.

Captain Blackadder: Ah, would this brilliant plan involve us climbing out of our trenches and walking very slowly towards the enemy, sir?

Captain Darling: How could you possibly know that Blackadder? It's classified information!

Captain Blackadder: It's the same plan that we used last time, and the seventeen times before that.

General: Exactly! And that is what is so brilliant about it! It will catch the watchful Hun totally off guard. Doing precisely what we've done eighteen times before is exactly the last thing they'll expect us to do this time! There is, however, one small problem...

Captain Blackadder: That everyone always gets slaughtered in the first ten seconds?

General: That's right. And Field Marshal Hague is worried that this may be depressing the men a tad. So, he's looking to find a way to cheer them up.

Captain Blackadder: Well, his resignation and suicide would seem the obvious.

To the fine people of Indiana's 6th Congressional district

Dear Folks:

Your congressman (Mike Pence, R-Fantasyland) is an idiot.
The American people could see that this Commander in Chief has decided not to fail. While the President is calling for more American forces, this is more properly understood as a change in strategy and tactics. Freedom must prevail in Iraq. The President has charted a course for victory and I look forward to supporting this new strategy.
Wow, freedom, victory, new strategy, was it buy one talking point, get one free?

Editor's note, completely off point: Rep. Pence's bio on his website states that he earned his "doctorate in jurisprudence" from Indiana University. Right there, you know he's a pompous blowhole. OK, I know the paper says something similar (mine says "juris doctor") but it's a friggin' LAW DEGREE. It's a trade school certificate, NOT a doctorate (Doc Magoo can testify to what getting a REAL one takes) and only pompous blowholes pretend otherwise. It's not even a difficult trade school to get through. I did well at a pretty decent law school, and graduate school in history made law school look like a walk in the park.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Which way?

So is tonight's Iraq plan "The New Way Forward?" "Forward Together?" "Going My Way?" "the Way We Were," perhaps? Nope, it's just the ...

Where's WaldoJohn McCain?

Actually, WaldoJohn McCain isn't hard to find at all! He's everywhere! On the Sunday shows, chatting on Today through Tonight, goshdarnit the Straight Talk Express was even there for the BCS game coin toss Monday night. We sure love that maverick, don't we?

And then we have his escalation talk. His talk of an addition of 100,000+ to the military overall, with deploying at least 30,000 to Iraq immediately, suggests one of two possibilities:

1) He never really checked out of the Hanoi Hilton and is suffering from very real delusions or, much more likely,

2) It is the ultimate CYA game. He'll make any ridiculous request, and when this debacle comes to its inexorable miserable conclusion, Mr. Straight Talk can say, "Look, did you do what I said? No. I said "Send in 30,000 troops! Add 100,000 more! Send in the Rockettes! Did I see any leg kicking in Baghdad? No, that wasn't the Straight Talk way!"

How many times has he sold his soul?

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

While you were sleeping...

Helicopters Strafe al-Qaida in Somalia
By SALAD DUHULAssociated Press

MOGADISHU, Somalia--Attack helicopters strafed suspected al-Qaida fighters in southern Somalia on Tuesday, witnesses said, following two days of airstrikes by U.S. forces--the first U.S. offensives in the African country since 18 American soldiers were killed here in 1993. In Washington, a U.S. intelligence official said American forces killed five to 10 people in an attack on one target in southern Somalia believed to be associated with al-Qaida. The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of the operation's sensitivity, said a small number of others present, perhaps four or five, were wounded.

The operation's SENSITIVITY? Why would STARTING ANOTHER WAR be sensitive????

Monday, January 08, 2007

From the "Who da Thunk It" File

Execution sparks Arab support for Saddam
Status as martyr hero grows as new gruesome gallows video appears (link)

Wow, no one would ever have guessed that, huh?

Map Fun

In the Chicago Tribune, we get to "enjoy" one of America's stupidest humans, Dennis Byrne. He recently drooled
Now here's what should be a familiar story: One country--Ethiopia--got so fed up with waiting for the UN and the "international community" to do something about the threat of Islamic extremists in neighboring Somalia that it went ahead by itself and took them out. If such unilateral military action sounds familiar, it's the game plan followed by President Bush in Afghanistan and Iraq.
Note to Denny. The "game plans" have absolutely NOTHING in common.

Point #1. Note where "Ethiopia" and "Somalia" appear below:

Any questions?

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Guess the byline

From this morning's Chicago Tribune:

In policy mirror, Bush reflects on Truman
Parallels drawn over global threat, duty

Of course, it has to be Mark Silva. This simple-minded Bush apologist writes that Chimpy "is reaching forward for a place in history with hope that he will be recognized as a leader who confronted `the ideological struggle of the 21st Century.'"

You know, Mark, you might actually be right for once. Of course though, the `the ideological struggle of the 21st Century' is certainly not as you cast it, a "conflict between freedom and terrorism." Rather, it is a conflict that has several faces, the conflicts pitting democracy against corporatism, constitutionalism against authoritarianism, religious fanaticism against rationalism and finally and most fundamentally, decency against criminality. Mark, Mr. Bush has not only "confronted" these struggles, he caused them, and we can all only hope that he loses.

My favorite pic from the new Congress!