Saturday, September 03, 2005

Nice work, guys.

From the Department of Homeland Security web page, courtesy of The Gadflyer:

Emergencies & Disasters
Preparing America

In the event of a terrorist attack, natural disaster or other large-scale emergency, the Department of Homeland Security will assume primary responsibility on March 1st for ensuring that emergency response professionals are prepared for any situation. This will entail providing a coordinated, comprehensive federal response to any large-scale crisis and mounting a swift and effective recovery effort.

Nice work, fellas.

Now I've seen everything.......

Click here if you dare.

Pat Robertson has a weight loss shake.


Lose 20 pounds, and YOUR MIND!

"Wow, Pat, after drinking your shakes, I'm wearing 34-inch pants, I just killed a homosexual and the president of Venezuela and I feel GREAT! Praise the Lord! Now I'm going to teach the home-schooled children about the 6,000-year history of the Earth and how Jesus hates Arabs. After she makes me a nutritious dinner capped off with a satisfying Pat shake, I'm hoping to have reproductive, missionary position relations with the little housewife!"

I hope anyone who voted for this man is ashamed of themselves

From Bubble Boy's flyover: "Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch."

Can you believe he actually said that? Trent Lott will have a FANTASTIC house?

Of course he will (not to mention the house he has in Jackson and a lovely residence near the nation's capital.) He will also have a lifetime pension and millions of dollars to make sitting on that porch oh so comfortable.

Chimpy's concern for Trent Lott is so touching, while countless thousands of Americans have died or had their lives destroyed with nary a smirk from our increasingly bizarre mockery of a president.

By the way, I happen to have a picture from the first back yard barbecue at Trent's new place below.

Friday, September 02, 2005

A new team member

I would like to welcome Katie to the blog and look forward to her first post!

Who ya Crappin, Part II

Yesterday's Chicago Tribune
Note..this was from the FRONT page, not the Op-Ed!

By Mark Silva and Frank James, Washington Bureau. September 1, 2005

WASHINGTON -- Taking swift and personal responsibility for federal relief efforts in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, President Bush on Wednesday made a somber appeal for patience and a pledge to deploy vast resources, from the military to public health agencies, to a lengthy and daunting task.

SWIFT???? He spends three days in Crackerford on his pretend ranch drinking Lone Star out of O'Doul's bottles and these idiots call it swift????

Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States!

Remain calm! All is well!
Hmm...a smirking frat boy in a pretend soldier suit completely oblivious to his surroundings!

It doesn't have much Spam in it.....

A Quick Note on Comments

I enjoy the comment feature on the blog. Say what you want here within very loosely drawn limits --basically don't go racist/misogynist/homophobic on us, no death threats and remember, profanity is an art form (From A Christmas Story, "My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay", so be an artist!).

Link to your site, fine with us. HOWEVER, we have a zero-tolerance rule for spam (and spam is in the eye of THIS beholder.) So if you're pitching something, we pitch your comments.

We now send you back to your regularly-scheduled programming.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Who you crappin????

A local sports radio show does a bit with the title above, "Who you crappin?" It comes from an exchange with legendary Bears coach Mike Ditka, but the bit involves people who have lied to you. Not something someone DID, something someone SAID....

Bill O'Reilly, where "Loofah means never having to say you're sorry," on Fox News was interviewing a poor local National Guard officer and berating him about "where was the Guard."

Hello, McFly??? The Guard is in IRAQ fighting Bubble Boy's war! Four out of every ten Louisiana Guardsmen are in the desert for NOTHING along with their HIGH WATER gear. In the desert. Floods here--desert there. And where is the high water gear????

My Pet Goat Redux

In an earlier post, at that point hesitant to politicize a human tragedy, I challenged the president, saying "it is time for you to step up, be a leader, do your job." You have failed so miserably.

Mr. President, in case you haven't noticed, one of America's greatest cities NO LONGER EXISTS.This isn't a "roll up our sleeves and get to work" photo op, this is a huge NATIONAL disaster. I am puzzled that you can't be troubled to awaken from your fake ranch-induced stupor to deal with hundreds of thousands of human lives lost in a tsunami or countless multitudes of dead and suffering on our soil, but yet you can rush back to Washington in order to try and force-feed a dead Florida woman.

Not just the Gulf Coast, but the entire country, was crying out for leadership. While we didn't have the immediate horror of water and death around us here, the country far from Katrina's wrath awoke to realizing that they might not be able to afford to drive to work and are deathly afraid that they won't be able to stay warm this winter. The country wanted leadership, the country wanted a president, and we got My Pet Goat II.

You knew this was coming and you waited. You played at your “ranch,” you preached to the choir and you watched an American city die. The New York Times was far too kind to you this morning. Your oh-so-timid appearance made even your blinky, nervous, nonsense after the towers fell look statesmanlike by comparison. The Times said “George W. Bush gave one of the worst speeches of his life yesterday, especially given the level of national distress and the need for words of consolation and wisdom.”
You did so much more or oh so far less than that. You embarrassed yourself as a president, an American and as a human being.

Damn I hate to say I told you so.....

Call Out the National Guard!

So, do you think folks in the gulf coast might like a few guardsmen around to deal with what could be a nasty early-season hurricane?

"Where have all the guardsmen gone, long time passing...
Where have all the guardsmen gone, long time ago
Where have the guardsmen gone?

To Iraq for nothing at all,
When will they ever learn...
When will they ever learn..."

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Stories on looting

I knew there was a reason that I've become a near-militant son-of-a-bitch. Below are all from links to, the site supporting the New Orleans Times Picayune newspaper. Their reporters are blogging to the site with stories themselves at this point; there's little else they can do but keep reporting the news as they can get it.


Those trapped in the city faced an increasingly lawless environment, as law enforcement agencies found themselves overwhelmed with widespread looting. Looters swarmed the Wal-mart on Tchoupitoulas Street, often bypassing the food and drink section to steal wide-screen TVs, jewelry, bicycles and computers. Watching the sordid display and shaking his head in disgust, one firefighter said of the scene: "It’s a f---- hurricane, what are you do with a basketball goal?"

Police regained control at about 3 p.m., after clearing the store with armed patrol. One shotgun-toting Third District detective described the looting as "ferocious."

"And it’s going to get worse as the days progress," he said.

In Uptown, one the few areas that remained dry, a bearded man patrolled Oak Street near the boarded-up Maple Leaf Bar, a sawed-off shotgun slung over his shoulder. The owners of a hardware store sat in folding chairs, pistols at the ready.

Uptown resident Keith Williams started his own security patrol, driving around in his Ford pickup with his newly purchased handgun. Earlier in the day, Williams said he had seen the body of a gunshot victim near the corner of Leonidas and Hickory streets.

"What I want to know is why we don’t have paratroopers with machine guns on every street," Williams said.

Like-minded Art Depodesta sat on the edge of a picnic table outside Cooter Brown’s Bar, a chrome shotgun at his side loaded with red shells.

"They broke into the Shell station across the street," he said. "I walked over with my 12-gauge and shot a couple into the air."

The looters scattered, but soon after, another man appeared outside the bar in a pickup truck armed with a pistol and threatened Depodesta.

"I told him, ‘Listen, I was in the Army and I will blow your ass off,’" Depodesta said. "We’ve got enough trouble with the flood."

The man sped away.

"You know what sucks," Depodesta said. "The whole U.S. is looking at this city right now, and this is what they see."

In the Bywater, a supply store sported spray-painted signs reading "You Loot, I Shoot" and "You Bein Watched." A man seated nearby with a rifle in his lap suggested it was no idle threat. At the Bywater studio of Dr. Bob, the artist known for handpainted "Be Nice or Leave" signs, a less fanciful sentiment was painted on the wall: "Looters Will Be Shot. Dr. Bob."

As the afternoon faded, aggression filled the air on the neutral ground of Poland Avenue as well, as people grew increasingly frustrated with the rescue effort. Having already survived one nightmare, a woman with five children feared going to go to the Dome, saying that some of the men preparing to board transport vehicles had smuggled razor blades with them.


Looting difficult to control

Tuesday, 8:10 p.m.

By Ed Anderson and Jan Moller

Widespread looting contributed to a deteriorating situation in Louisiana's largest city Tuesday in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina Tuesday, according to witnesses and second-hand accounts from evacuees.

The problem is being compounded, officials said, by a breakdown in the ability of public agencies to communicate with one another, said New Orleans City Council President Oliver Thomas.

“The most frustrating thing about this whole thing has been communication,” Thomas said. “We have to devise a better system.”

He said looting has also escalated and an atmosphere of lawlessness has developed as police resources have been almost entirely devoted to search-and-rescue operations for people trapped by floodwaters on roofs and in attics. “Widespread looting is taking place in all parts of the city” - from uptown and Canal Street to areas around the housing projects, Thomas said.

“People are going in and out of businesses at Louisiana and Claiborne (avenues), taking clothes, tennis shoes and goods,” Thomas said. “It is inconceivable to me how people can do this.”

“People are leaving the Superdome to go to Canal Street to loot,” Thomas said. “Some people broke into drug stores and stole the drugs off the shelves. It is looting times five. I'm telling you, it's like Sodom and Gomorrah.”


Shot police officer in surgery

The New Orleans police officer shot in the head by a looter Tuesday was expected to survive, officials said.

The officer, who has not been identified, was in surgery at West Jefferson Medical Center after being shot in the forehead, police said.

The officer was shot by a looter after he and another officer confronted a number of looters at a Chevron store at Shirley and Gen. DeGaulle.

Jefferson Parish sheriff's deputies on the scene arrested four people in connection with the shooting. One of the looters reportedly was shot in the arm by an officer during a shootout.


Shot the arm? Somebody should've shot the fucker in the head and been done with it.

NOLA And The Neanderthal

First off, much like everyone else, I've been watching the desolation and destruction (there couldn't be two better words) that has been happening in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast, and I can't help but feel sorry for these people. Many of them thought likely that the worst had passed with Katrina and then came the popping of the levees and the flooding which has put about 80% of New Orleans underwater according to many reports.

In a separate forum, Blogger
par excellence Schmidlap said that everyone should make a contribution to the American Red Cross. Bravo, Schmidlap, bravo. I wholeheartedly agree and will be opening my pocketbook to the cause as well. However, in the wake of all the horrible things that are going on, I can't help but have a couple of thoughts in mind that leave me rather perplexed and agitated for thinking in such a way.

  1. How many times did the local media and law enforcement outlets tell the locals to GET THE HELL OUT? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but if I'm below sea level and 160 mph of wind and hell and fury are coming my way, I'm punching my ticket out of dodge, pride be damned. If nothing else, it necessitates a much less materialistic lifestyle. You get attached to the things that are attached to you and everything else can float away and be replaced (to a point). Those who put themselves in harm's way to rescue the people who didn't heed the warnings of the local constabulary, well, if they wanted to let those people just die courtesy of a little something Darwin called "natural selection," well, that only makes the species stronger, right?
  2. Looting. There were COUNTLESS photos on the web and on the television of people looting anything that they can get their grubby opportunistic paws on. I'm sure that major grocery stores and/or convenience marts who could get federal disaster relief (and itinerant good will for helping in the most dire time of need) wouldn't mind opening their doors to people who needed stuff. That's fine. But to loot? To take someone else's property without their permission? C'mon, the waters are over your head and this is the time to steal a television set? Or furniture? Or clothes? I may be a little draconian, and it sure as hell isn't "the punishment fits the crime", but in my mind, there's only one solution. Gangland style executions by law enforcement. Take that person who is busy trying to climb out the broken windows of Circuit City with the flat screen television (because let's face it, there's power AND cable where they live) and just put a bullet right a'tween their eyeballs. Only one, enough to maybe get some gray matter to ooze out just for good measure. Then take and hang 'em outside the establishment with a little sign around their neck that says "No Shoplifting". If that don't drive the point home, then drop them in the biggest alligator and poisonous snake infested hole you can find and see where they are on the food chain.
  3. Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) and their relief dollars. Am I the only one who wouldn't be surprised if the government said, "Well, uh...because we have to support the 101st Airborne and their patrols in dangerous parts of Iraq and Afghanistan, the federal government just doesn't have any money left to spare to help victims of a natural disaster. Check with your insurance company." Now, I'm sorry, but an environmentalist (and I'm the furthest thing from a tree hugger you'll find) made the rather blunt point that thanks to the levee system, land is disappearing around the bayou and barrier islands that would've otherwise taken some of the steam out of the hurricane. Oh, and add global warming (even though Chimpy doesn't ascribe to the proven scientific theory) which makes the water warmer and gives these storms more energy to feed and become more powerful, aren't the collective "we" to blame to some extent for the severity of the disaster?
  4. Gas is going to spike. Hard. I already have truckers charging fuel surcharges in excess of 20% and I saw premium for $3.25/gallon in Schiller Park this afternoon at a Marathon station. Now would, I think, be a good time to mention that "alternative fuel" thing in passing to anybody who will listen.
I can't imagine what it is like to be there right now. They said tonight that I-10, the major interstate between Lousiana and Mississippi, could take YEARS to rebuild because parts of it have just gone missing and from the air it looks like a long dashed line with pieces gone. Hopefully there's a lesson to be learned here. The only question is whether those who need said lesson are even paying attention.

My money says they're too busy on their mountain bike or on holiday to really notice or give a damn.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Water and pain...and hope and help

Hurricane Katrina has brought much pain and suffering to the Gulf coast, and as so often happens with hurricanes, the worst is yet to come. Those who made it through the punishing winds will now face weeks of flooding, power outages, contamination and the thousands of horrible realizations of having lost everything and having no homes. It may be days or weeks before we know how many people saw their lives end in a whirling wind and walls of water.

Olease do what you can to help. The
American Red Cross is an invaluable first responder, and they need help. Anything will help.

And now, Mr. President, it is time for you to step up. Be a leader,

Do your job.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Of Hurricane Warnings and Morons in the Snow

While the Big Easy seems to have dodged the worst case scenario of a storm of the century, the Crescent City is still getting really hammered. Here's hoping one of my favorite cities pulls through.

Last night I heard a National Weather Service warning that was frightening in its bluntness, saying that buildings would be destroyed and people would die. Rarely have I heard such straight talk, but they had to do it in part because of the "Chicken Little" approach to weather reporting by local news outlets--or as I call them, the Morons in the Snow.

Local news coverage in all major cities is very competitive, and to sell theirs, each station tends to have some overly dramatic "Storm Tracker" or "Storm Watch" nonsense. I live near Chicago, and news flash, it snows here, it gets cold and traffic blows. But never fail, every time we have some flurries in the forecast, out come the Morons in the Snow.

These are the fresh-faced and nicely coiffed cub reporters in their designer parkas standing on an I-94 overpass proclaiming in their most serious "grownup" voice, "Well, Overpaid Talking Head #1 and Underqualified Talking Head #2, I'm here over the Kennedy Expressway, it is cold and and if you look behind me, I think you can see...snow! Yes, it is definitely snowing, no doubt about it! And it is about 5;45 Friday evening and traffic is BAD. Back to you."

Because of the mind-numbing repetition of such drivel, we are conditioned to ignoring the routine Eyewitness News Storm Tracker "The 5-day forecast shows a 90% chance that WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!" nonsense. In order to reach people in a real emergency, the NWS had to spell it out in plain and simple terms, get the hell out of here. We're not kidding, leave. Now.

Back to you in the studio.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Katrina and the (Really Damn Big) Waves

Here is hoping all those in harm's way of the hurricane make it through safely.

Luckily, the National Guard will be there to help those in need...


The "Liberal" Media?


BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Iraq's constitutional committee approved a final draft of the Iraqi constitution and put it before the National Assembly on Sunday, despite the rejection of Sunni Arab leaders.

OK, GREAT NEWS, right? The "constitutional committee approved a final draft of the Iraqi constitution and put it before the National Assembly!" Fireworks! Parades!

Oh wait...what was that last bit..."despite the rejection of Sunni Arab leaders." I'm sure "liberal" CNN wouldn't mislead us....

Oh never mind them, just a few Sunnis, right? Hey, they "approved a final draft of the Iraqi constitution and put it before the National Assembly!" I'm not letting a few "Sunnis" rain on my parade! After all, look at that CNN headline:

Committee Signs Iraq's Draft Constitution!


But wait--those Sunnis--are they important?

Those people who make up 20+% of the population and had been in power for generations, those who ideologically support the resistance (NOT the "insurgency") but were willing to give constitution-making a chance have now been rendered irrelevant by the Shi’a-Kurd alliance.

(Cue Mr. Rogers)

Boys and girls, I have some new words for you to learn today. Can you say “civil war?” I know you can. And tomorrow, we’ll learn “escalating regional conflicts!”

Won’t you be my neighbor?

Going to Hell Very Quickly...

in one VERY large handbasket.

Look at
Informed Comment to see just how quickly and how dangerously the situation in Iraq is deteriorating.

The Hippies: The Once and Future King

The president gave us this Hippy (Best Performance by a Hypocrite) Award-winning bit of inspiration:

"I don't know if you know this or not, but 19 individuals have served both as Guardsmen and as President of the United States. And I'm proud to have been one. "

Well, it is debatable whether or not he has "served" as president, but we know from the incontrovertible historical record that he did not serve in the National Guard. Admitted by connections, excused by privilege, he was a disgrace ro the uniform then and a disgrace to the presidency today.