Monday, August 29, 2005

Of Hurricane Warnings and Morons in the Snow

While the Big Easy seems to have dodged the worst case scenario of a storm of the century, the Crescent City is still getting really hammered. Here's hoping one of my favorite cities pulls through.

Last night I heard a National Weather Service warning that was frightening in its bluntness, saying that buildings would be destroyed and people would die. Rarely have I heard such straight talk, but they had to do it in part because of the "Chicken Little" approach to weather reporting by local news outlets--or as I call them, the Morons in the Snow.

Local news coverage in all major cities is very competitive, and to sell theirs, each station tends to have some overly dramatic "Storm Tracker" or "Storm Watch" nonsense. I live near Chicago, and news flash, it snows here, it gets cold and traffic blows. But never fail, every time we have some flurries in the forecast, out come the Morons in the Snow.

These are the fresh-faced and nicely coiffed cub reporters in their designer parkas standing on an I-94 overpass proclaiming in their most serious "grownup" voice, "Well, Overpaid Talking Head #1 and Underqualified Talking Head #2, I'm here over the Kennedy Expressway, it is cold and and if you look behind me, I think you can see...snow! Yes, it is definitely snowing, no doubt about it! And it is about 5;45 Friday evening and traffic is BAD. Back to you."

Because of the mind-numbing repetition of such drivel, we are conditioned to ignoring the routine Eyewitness News Storm Tracker "The 5-day forecast shows a 90% chance that WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!" nonsense. In order to reach people in a real emergency, the NWS had to spell it out in plain and simple terms, get the hell out of here. We're not kidding, leave. Now.

Back to you in the studio.

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