Sunday, January 15, 2012


If rapturous Broncos fans and Jesus freaks were looking for another miracle from 'Touchdown Jesus' Tim Tebow yesterday, it didn't happen. New England's AWESOME quarterback Tom Brady SCHOOLED Tebow, throwing for a record-breaking FIVE touchdowns in the FIRST HALF. Game on; Game OVER.

Lesson for Timmy. Don't anger the stadium gods, because, in the end, they rule the day. In their league, you've got to earn your stripes the hard way — WINNING, not with a whole lot of Jesus hype and religious hocus-pocus. That was multiple Super Bowl winner Brady's not-so-subtle lesson #1 to upstart Tebow. Lesson #2: Don't piss Brady off! Tom Brady had the best day of his career, with a playoff record-tying six touchdowns, a playoff record 363 yards, and a 45-10 drubbing of Tebow's Broncos. Brady could've easily broken the record; but he was Christ-like in his mercy.

Tom Brady's Mephistophelean coach Bill Belichick is notorious for taking every underhanded, borderline fair play advantage he can to CRUSH his opposition, i.e., WIN. Yesterday he came out in his usual EE-VIL drab gray castaway look — with a twist. For no apparent reason he was slinking beneath his sinister HOODIE rather than a more benign woolen cap. Belichick looked a bit like the creepy Opus Dei albino killer warrior-monk in Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code. It worked. Timmy ran out of miracles and crashed back to earth, totally nonplussed, it seems, by Evil Bill, completing few pass attempts.

But the biggest, most disturbing turn-off, by far, was CBS airing a political ad with the Bible's Matthew 3:16 recited by children including a controversial anti-abortion message. Using children to actually verbalize the word "life" as a subtle anti-abortion message, is in my view highly inappropriate if not unethical. Whatever one's position, abortion is LEGAL in the U.S. From its inception, there has been a well-established separation of church and state in this country. But most important, the airing of one religion's anti-abortion message over another's in a sporting event broadcast to people of every religion, or none, to people who take both sides of the abortion issue, using children instead of adults in the messaging is shirking the broadcaster's responsibility for vetting its advertising content. Even FOX rejected airing similar ads, indicating it "does not accept advertising from religious organizations for the purpose of advancing particular beliefs or practices."

It was the classic battle of [Good(?)] versus EVIL. EVIL won, for being more genuine. By the way, it was the other game, Forty-Niners v. Saints, that was "one for the ages." Rock of Ages, man, and beware of false prophets, like 'Focus on The Family', that is.

T-Bowie Steak ... Buh-Bye, Timmy.

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