DEUS EX MITT: ROMNEY TAKES CREDIT FOR SUN RISING IN THE EAST!

"LOOK," SAYS THE ROMINEE, "WHY SHOULD WE LISTEN TO LIBERAL scientists trying to take away our SUVS, raising stupid fears about the 'Global Warming' hoax?! EVEN IF it exists they can't FIX IT, and they won't ... I WILL!"

There's nothing the MAN WITH THE MAGIC DIAPERS cannot do! Have you heard he just foiled a terrorist plot? Jon Stewart connects the dots: