My W Theory

Many people have commented on the president's bizarre behavior lately, suggesting that he is drinking again, doing cocaine or taking anti-depressants. Nora Ephron even suggested he is depressed because of his lack of exercise.

My theory is much more simple. The president actually died when he "choked on the pretzel," yet is not dead. The incomprehensible speech, the blotchy face and the awkward gait point to the inescapable conclusion that we have the first zombie president. While other presidents spent long nights pouring over policy briefings, this one roams the night to feed on the flesh of the living.

Just a theory.