Announcement from the White House

The White House

Washington, D.C.

As a result of the destruction caused recently by Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita, the federal government is announcing a major change in policy.

Henceforth, hurricanes will no longer receive single male or female names. All storms will be named after Democratic presidential contenders. The next Category 4 or 5 storm will be named "Hillary Clinton." I can see it now, "Hillary Clinton slams Florida, hundreds feared dead!" Just think, "Severe economic disruption expected from Hillary Clinton!"

Lesser storms will be named accordingly, such as "Joe Biden downgraded to a Category 1," "Little impact expected from John Edwards," or "John Kerry not as strong as expected."

All tropical depressions will be named "Dennis Kucinich."