Monday, August 15, 2011

T-PAW Drops OUT; Lawrence Can Really Pick 'Em ... Or Can He?

Tim Pawlenty, The SULTAN OF SIMP, became QUEEN OF CRAZY Michele Bachmann's first casualty in the BIZARRO GOP presidential race, as she edged out the INCREDIBLE INVISIBLE MAN Ron Paul to win the Ames, Iowa BEAUTY CAUCUS. CRAZY reigned in Iowa as MITTZY THE SLY FOX CANDIDATE made an impassioned defense of CORPORATIONS ... they're PEOPLE like us and their "JOB CREATOR" taxes are much too high, the UNITED STATES default and credit downgrade ARE declared desirable outcomes, secession and theocracy — viable options, and Oprah is crowned THE HARLOT OF BABYLON.

THE WEEKEND IN DISTURBING GOP PICTURES in which Marcus and Michele enjoy GINORMOUS "CORNDOGS", the OUTLAW SECESSIONIST Rick Perry rides into Iowa, T-Paw does his best Alan Alda impression for Lawrence, MARCUS AND MICHELE celebrate their own LA CAGE AUX FOLLES REWRITE —

MARCUS BACHMANN GLOWING IN A SEA OF GLITTER: "I'M QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!!"

AND MSNBC fantasist Lawrence gets his comeuppance by explaining to us "civilians" the meaning of "political viability." Said colleague Chris Matthews: "He's the BEST POLITICAL ANALYST in the business. I mean it. I really do. You know I do. UP NEXT ... I mean it."


FINALLY ... In a typical BELTWAY non-scoop, the IDIOT PUNDITOCRACY led by Chuck the DUMMY and DICKHEAD Mark Halperin FIND WALDO at the Iowa State Fair and reveal his TRUE IDENTITY:

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