Friday, September 23, 2005

Reality, Next Stop, the Next Station is Reality

Please see below for my narco-residue theory.

The president needs to get out more. Really. He has gone beyond being divorced from reality to having any previous relationship with reality annulled (Renee Zellwegger and Reality can both claim fraud as grounds for the annulment!)

Let's look at a couple of quick examples. From the "Fun with Bianca" press conference below:

"Iraqi forces are showing the vital difference they can make. They are now in control of more parts of Iraq than at any time in the past two years. Significant areas of Baghdad and Mosul, once violent and volatile, are now more stable because Iraqi forces are helping to keep the peace."

Mr. President, please pick up a newspaper. The U.S. military, let alone the "Iraqi" military, is not in control. We can't even control the road to the airport!

"The only way the terrorists can win is if we lose our nerve and abandon the mission. For the security of the American people, that's not going to happen on my watch. We'll do our duty. We'll defeat our enemies in Iraq and other fronts in the war on terror."

Hi, me again. First of all, who knew you were watching?? And just who are the "enemies?" I hate to break it to you, but for the most part, they are the ones who wanted a SECULAR government in Iraq, remember? The Iraqi "government" you constantly refer to want to install a fundamentalist Shi'a republic!!

And the clincher:

"The international community is helping Afghanistan become a lasting democracy. There's still terrorists who seek to overthrow the young government. See, they want to return Afghanistan to what it was under the Taliban, a miserable place, a place where citizens have no rights, women are oppressed, and the terrorists have a safe haven to plan and plot attacks."

Well, it is still all of the above, plus add in the incredibly ramped-up heroin production. We backed the wrong horse, supporting the Northern Alliance under the theory of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend," even though the NA is a minority coalition. If there was an honest election in Afghanistan, the people would probably vote for the Taliban, hold the crazy.

ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS: THIS TRAIN WILL RUN EXPRESS TO THE END OF THE LINE AND WILL NOT STOP AT THE REALITY STATION. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE. REGULARLY-SCHEDULED SERVICE TO REALITY IS EXPECTED TO RESUME IN JANUARY 2009. HAVE A NICE DAY.


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