Gone fishin'

EDITOR'S NOTE: There is ONE new post from me below that I added after the original Gone Fishin' notice.

The man:



The mission:

I will be away from my duties here until Monday as I am off after the mighty chinook salmon, the tasty coho and the elusive brown trout (and a weekend of debauchery!)

Back on Monday with fish stories.

Media shilling for Bush

I have often pointed out the foibles and foolishness of Mark Silva, a shameless apologist for the Bush administration. Silva, a a "reporter" for the Chicago Tribune, gushes like a breathless correspondent for Tiger Beat over his hero's dramatic "overture" to Iran:

The Bush administration, signaling a willingness Wednesday to open direct talks with Iran over its nuclear program, is embracing a sharp change of course that reflects a more pragmatic approach to one of the world's most intractable conflicts and may ease upward pressure on international oil prices.

Wow, a "sharp change," pragmatism and lower gas prices? Hurray for George!

But let's all wait a minute. First of all, this situation is only "one of the world's most intractable conflicts " because of the ineptitude, stupidity and arrogance of the current administration. And how about "pragmatism?" How pragmatic is it when you offer to negotiate if IN ADVANCE the other side AGREES TO ALL YOUR DEMANDS? That is some negotiating tactic.

My favorite point in the piece is Silva's reference to the letter from the Iranian president as "rambling." Apparently he missed this bit of brilliant elocution from his hero:

Tribal sovereignty means that, it's sovereign. You're a -- you're a -- you have been given sovereignty and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore, the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities. Now, the federal government has got a responsibility on matters like education and security to help. And health care. And it's a solemn duty. From this perspective, we must continue to uphold that duty. I think that one of the most promising areas of all is to help with economic development, and that means helping people understand what it means to start a business. That's why the Small Business Administration has increased loans. It means, obviously, encouraging capital flows, but none of that will happen unless the education systems flourish and are strong. That's why I told you, we spent $1.1 billion in reconstruction of Native American schools.

THAT was inspiring, concise and to the point, not one ramble there!

Rarely do I agree with the president of Iran, but this "overture" was merely shallow propaganda, and Mark Silva is the perfect shallow propagandist for the job.

Chuckles the Clown

Charles Krauthammer is a miserable little man who should be ranting on a street corner rather than wasting ink and newsprint in the Washington Post. Recently, he gave us this gem:

Pushing Washington to abandon the multilateral process and enter negotiations alone is more than rank hypocrisy. It is a pernicious folly. It would short-circuit the process that, after years of dithering, is about to yield its first fruits: sanctions that Tehran fears. It would undo the allied consensus, produce endless new delays and give Iran more time to reach the point of no return, after which its nuclear status would be a fait accompli.

Chuck has always been of the "bomb anyone who thinks bad thoughts about Israel first, ask questions later" school, and making logical connections between his scattershot observations has never been his strong suit. This one, though, is priceless. What "process" is Chucky referring to? The "process" of having international inspectors and Security Council consideration and then having us say, "**** it, we're invading anyway?" The process of sending someone with a deep and abiding respect for diplomacy to represent us at the U.N., like John Bolton?

There is a country in this equation that has marginalized, triviliazed and shown nothing but contempt for international diplomacy, and it is NOT Iran. Why should Iran waste its time negotiating with our proxies if the United States holds the final and absolute veto, Chuck? Why indeed?

Happy Memorial Day!

I have heard many people object to GWB laying a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, given his disgraceful military record. However, I think it is perfectly logical for him to do, because when he was a soldier--no one knew him!

Happy Memorial Day to all (and a happy 24th wedding anniversary to me!)

On the Importance of Vetting School Board Candidates

Illinois is a solid "blue" state. Over the past 14 years we have seen an African-American woman and man elected to the United States senate. However, it is important to remember that under that progressive facade there lurks a seamy and scummy underbelly of right-wingnut fascism just waiting to be unleashed. In 2004, it reared its ugly head in the candidacy of the carpetbagger Alan Keyes, who received a solid 25% of the vote. Now, we have Leslie Pinney, an ELECTED school board member for Township H.S. District 214, which serves students in several northwest suburbs. She waited a whole year before showing her jackboots and pith helmet to the teachers and administrators of the high schools. Her outing came when she suggested that the school board ban several "subversive" books.

This is an area of special interest to me, as I am a professional educator and a librarian. My experience with book banning parents, "concerned citizens," and administrators is not nearly as vast as other American Library Association members I know, but I have dealt with a few. None has EVER read the books that they wish to ban "for the sake of the kids." In fact, they tend to revel in their ignorance, relying instead on the counsel of those with agendas ranging from right-wingnut or religiously repressive to misguidedly politically correct. I felt compelled to write an open letter/email to Ms. Pinney - the contents of said letter are below...

Ms. Pinney,

In the interest of full disclosure, I want you to know that I do not live in your high school district. However, I am an educator, a librarian and a taxpayer in this state, and in those capacities, I take intense offense at your insistence in calling for the all-out ban of books recognized by critics, educators, librarians, and historians as works of literature and timeless reflections on themes very dear to thoughtful people everywhere. I suppose that had your call been based on some critical analysis of the content or the literary merits of the selections I might have been interested in hearing your arguments. Instead, as I do often find in these cases, you hide behind pointing out the odd offensive word and then trot out the tired old chestnut, "I haven't read it, but I know it's no good for our children" apologia.
At this point, under normal circumstances, I'd write a long and detailed defense of each of the works that you want to burn symbolically for the "sake of the children." However, I know that I'd be practicing mere mental masturbation, as you can judge a book without reading it, or by reading only a single page, paragraph, sentence, or WORD out of context. I am VERY glad that you have gone public, because you have exposed yourself for what you are: a sad and self-important, frustrated, self-loathing middle-aged woman who saw the opportunity to throw around her considerable weight. The good news is that the student body and parents have told you in OVERWHELMING numbers that you're wrong and that they won't be bullied by a shrill harpy. The better news is that you've made yourself UNELECTABLE in 2009. The best news is that you're only a couple of years away from being able to play "nazi" only in your own home.

::::::BLOGGER'S UPDATE::::::

According to the Chicago Tribune, the high school curriculum in Chicago's northwest suburbs will continue to be a safe haven for the subversive, pornographic, and/or graphically objectional books of such second-rate hacks as Kurt Vonnegut and Toni Morrison. The vote was a nail-biting 6-1... I wonder whether or not the good taxpayers in District 214 can recall their resident fascist before the 2009 school board elections...

Look what I found!

Well, well, look what congressional Republicans found:



It was strange that they couldn't find it with regard to the equal protection clause and presidental elections, warmaking, domestic spying, torture, the right to counsel, speedy trials, the establishment of religion and all those other little inconveniences. It was just nowhere in sight, then all of a sudden, it just turns up! Now just WHERE pray tell do you think they found it?

Why, RIGHT OUTSIDE THEIR OFFICE DOORS of course! Hold on there, that ol' piece of paper means you can't search MY office!

To borrow a tired old chestnut from right-wing talk shows. `Why worry if you don't have something to hide'...right???

Candor

The morning news shows were gushing over how "candid" the president was last night. Please, spare me.

He was "candid" because he acknowledged that stupid things he said that everyone knew were stupd were in fact--STUPID? He is "candid" because he FINALLY acknowledged the atrocities that shocked the conscience of the world ages ago?

How about some "candor" about why we went down this misbegotten path? How about "candidly" explaining how he screwed up every single aspect of this nightmarish operation? Perhaps the president could "candidly explain" how we get out of this mess without our country's utter moral and fiscal bankruptcy and throwing the entire Middle East into a fratricidal horror show?

No, that would be asking for too much "candor."

GUILTY!

Guilty as charged. I hope these miserable bastards go away for a very long time.

Now I'm a civil libertarian but...

this one is a doozy. Here is a festive young prom-goer:

named KEVIN.

(link) The prom ticket was in hand: $85. The fuschia, slinky prom dress and strappy heels were ready. The whole week of giddy anticipation and pampering — more than $200 worth of a manicure, pedicure and hair set — was set to culminate with the grand walk into the glam ball.
But when Kevin Logan, a transgender and gay student at Gary’s West Side High School, arrived last Friday at Avalon Manor in Hobart for his prom, he was banned by Principal Diane Rouse.

The state civil liberties union is getting involved, citing First Amendment concerns.

I think I'm with the school on this one.

Molly Ivins agrees with us...

"I hate to raise such an ugly possibility, but have you considered lunacy as an explanation?"

Here's the rest.

To every thing, turn, turn, turn...

Turning Point (n)-The point at which a very significant change occurs; a decisive moment.

"Yet we have now reached a turning point in the struggle between freedom and terror."

Another "turning point?" Spare us. This "turning point," the naming of a government, involved a desperate last-minute attempt to avoid a "Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $300 Billion" moment. Without a government, under the Iraqi "constitution," the "prime minister" would have disappeared into the mist. So now we have a "government" without key portfolios that can't govern, and only seems to skim oil profits and construction deals off the top.

Fearless leader cites this as the 4th "turning point." Here's your homework. Stand in the center of the room. Walk forward a few steps and turn left (or right, if you care) four times. Where do you end up?

Where in the world is...

No, not Carmen San Diego--my wife, Peggy (notice no "what's wrong with this picture" grousing like I did when she was in Paris a couple of weeks ago.)

This is a geography quiz. No prizes (and Rabble, as I recall, I mentioned to you where she was going, so you're not eligible) but you will receive a hearty e-handshake and my warmest congratulations.


She's here:



Where in the world is she?

Retard America Redux

It bothers me that this bug-eyed freak is back in the "news." The poor sap that she ditched apparently has finally wised up and moved on. What angers me is that the news media squeezed every bit of mileage out of this non-story while ignoring the important things going on around us all but unnoticed. We get the country we deserve, I suppose.

Things Da Vinci

I am going to see The Da Vinci Code tomorrow night. I enjoyed the book. While Dan Brown's prose can be rather tortured at times, he tells a good story. His books are perfect airplane/beach reading brain candy.

The book didn't, and I doubt the movie will, change any of my attituded toward the church or Christianity in general. It is a NOVEL and the film is a popcorn movie. If your faith is shattered because of some escapist entertainment, or if Mel Gibson's gore-filled snuff film inspired your faith, I have but one thing to say to you:

Is that a banjo I hear?

So the Deliverance wing of the Senate GOP (along with a few red state Dems) want to make English our "national language." Isn't that special. There is a cheap joke about the president now having to master the language in there somewhere, but seriously, how pathetic of an attempt at pandering to the mouthbreathers of society is this? Why don't we just call it the "Let's Make Government Less Efficient While I Get This Cross a Burnin' Act?"

I find this particularly interesting given that we Americans (sadly, your humble correspondent is included) are about the worst industrialized country in the world when it comes to languages. As business becomes more global, so many of us here remain English-only speakers. When my wife was in Paris, I encountered hotel switchboard operators that effortlessly switched from French to perfect English. But here--at the INTERNATIONAL terminal at O'Hare Airport, there is not ONE directional sign in another language. The "information" officer was a surly rent-a-cop who only spoke English, and when foreign nationals didn't understand him (who would have anticipated that at the INTERNATIONAL terminal????) his response was to speak in English, only louder.

Official English, the national anthem in Spanish, gay marriage, service academy prayers, even our old friend flag burning--I love seeing priorities in the right place. Good thing we don't have any real problems to address.

Jesus needs Bill Frist to help stop boys from kissing

So cat-killing video doctor Bill Frist says that "marriage is under attack," a crisis so dangerous that it requires a constitutional amendment.

What nonsense. First of all, Bill, keep your feline-dissecting hands of the constitution. That document is not the place for misguided social engineering (how did Prohibition work for you?)

And just exactly how is marriage under attack? Now, in the interest of full disclosure-- I am married to a WONDERFUL woman, I've been married for a long time and I like being married. That said, it is difficult to come up with a convincing argument as to why the government should be in the business of sanctioning relationships in 2006. Legitimacy is not a concern for property succession, the institution is no longer (if it ever was) the regulator of sexual activity, DNA can show parentage and so on and so on.

HOWEVER, let us assume that the government WILL continue to legally sanction relationships. I have not heard a compelling argument about why this LEGAL relationship should not be extended to same-sex couples. Let us dispense immediately with religious arguments. We are talking about the legal enforcement of a quasi-contractual relationship and what is recognized by a religious group should play no part in that.

Also let's lose the truism, marriage is between a man and a woman because it's, well, between a man and a woman!

The slippery slope also has to go. If we allow gays to marry, then next comes polygamy, men will marry sheep, someone will walk down the aisle with their Harley, women will marry Tom Cruise--oh wait.

What utter nonsense. Did marriage to one man or woman generate polygamy? In terms of lines to draw, I think

1) One
2) Consenting adult
3) Human spouse per person

is pretty easy without slip-slidin' away.

And spare me the "sanctity" of marriage. For one thing, "sanctity" has a religious connotation. Beyond that, though, when the divorce rate is around half, Anna Nicole Smith marries a not-yet-buried corpse, Brittany Spears has two days of wedded bliss before bailing, sell "sanctity" somewhere else.

The Edumacation Presidont

Apparently, covering the Chimp makes people as stupid as he is. From CNN.com's front page:

Memo to Fred Phelps and other right-wing hatemongers:

1 John 4:20

"Those who say they love God and hate their brothers and sisters are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen cannot love God whom they have not seen."

The Mendoza Line

A 29% approval rating--that is staggering. Few world leaders have had such low poll numbers. For example, when this picture of Mussolini was taken, he was polling in the low 30s:

Silly me

And I said Congress had its priorities out of whack. Oh was I wrong, they are CLEARLY focusing on what's important:

House Injects Prayer Into Defense Bill
By Alan Cooperman and Ann Scott Tyson
Washington Post Staff Writers

The House passed a $513 billion defense authorization bill yesterday that includes language intended to allow chaplains to pray in the name of Jesus at public military ceremonies, undercutting new Air Force and Navy guidelines on religion.