Yet they cling to the misguided notion that liberals are wimpy eggheads, never realizing that liberals defended the colors with honor in every war, that progressivism's guiding light led the charge up San Juan Hill, that liberals were the first to sign up and be counted to fight fascism and nazism in the Spanish Civil War, integrating the storied and valorous Lincoln Brigade, that liberals never shied from a fair fight, emphasis on fair, but liberals won't give up when the race is fixed, that we can take every last one of you and beat you down, that we know who we are, history's intellectual and progressive vanguard shouting ever "forward!" to Buckley's "stop!" toward a brighter future — that we are comfortable in our skin, with the truth on our side. Quite simply, we're the good guys and gals. Period. And we know that caring for the least among us with love and compassion isn't a sign of weakness. It's what Jesus Christ did.
"Oh, is that so? Well, let me tell you something, teabilly jacknuts, there’s a new brand of liberal in town and we don’t take kindly to being pushed around. We also aren’t going to just lay down while you bullying bastards trample upon the weakest members of our society anymore. Did you hear what the president of Ireland had to say to you dimwitted twatrockets? Yeah, that’s pretty much how we all feel and we’re going to make sure you loud-mouthed asswipes hear every last fucking word we have to say.
We are the progressive future and you are the regressive past. Making sure that every single citizen of this great country has the basic necessities to lead a happy, healthy and productive life is the way forward and we’re not going to let you Koch-sucking fools control the narrative with your “welfare queen” lying bullshit anymore. Fuck Ayn Rand’s shallow “philosophy” which ridiculously asserts that selfishness is a virtue and altruism towards anyone who doesn’t “deserve” it is immoral. EVERYONE fucking deserves to be fed, housed, clothed, valued and loved. EVERY child is inherently filled with potential and worth.
It’s pretty fucking evident to me and my fellow liberals that we’re not here on Earth to tear each other to pieces and hoard resources in some dog-eat-dog horror show. We’re here to learn how to be compassionate and cooperative. Didn’t you daft fuckers learn anything in Sunday school?"