Monday, September 12, 2011

Football Opening Weekend TRASH TALKIN'

MEMO to Big Eddie and 'Homey': I don't believe retread Q-Back Donovan McNabb is going to lead the hapless VIKINGS to the Promised Land. Maybe in the Fantasy League. You're in serious TROUBLE, GIANTS, when you can't even beat Rex Grossman, has-been reject of the CHICAGO BEARS, which by the way ROMPED against the ATLANTA FALCONS. (Grossman bucked an opening day losing WASHINGTON REDSKINS jinx to the GIANTS which had been in place FOR 35 YEARS!)

Meanwhile, in a MUST-WIN on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, because Coach Rex Ryan has the AUDACITY to throw down his markers and draw his lines in the sand (are you taking notes, President Obama?), the NEW YORK J-E-T-S, JETS JETS JETS came from behind to WHIP our favorite WHIPPIN' BOY, Tony (Bwaaaaah!) Romo (Big Eddie's special guest at the White House Correspondents Dinner) and America's MOST HATED TEAM, the DALLAS COWBOYS, with its  Confederacy gray colors, and loathsome owner JERRY JONES in attendance — oops ... better dial back that premature celebration, Jerry. 'Cause somethin's goin' on, but you don't know what it is, do you, Massah Jones?

Funniest sideline moments: (1) Trying to figure out how the rotund aging hippie on the Dallas side (a) fits in with all those fascists, and (b) what possible resemblance he has to his alleged twin brother, Rex Ryan; (2) Mark Sanchez, the Jets Mexican QB, turning his back on the field of play, afraid to look when the JETS scored the winning field goal from 50 yards or so out and the COWBOYS got the ball back with seconds to go.

Most entertaining PI√ĎATA: Tony Romo, probably the world's DUMBEST quarterback, tried to beat the JETS-D rushing the endzone — bad move, paisan — threw a game-winning interception, then wasn't ready for the snap with 23 seconds on the clock. His teammates have a hard time keeping up with the ever creative ways Romo finds to LOSE.

Football is baaaack ...

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