Paging Bob Dole. Mr. Bob Dole, please pick up the white courtesy phone

Bob Dole, 1996: Where is the outrage in America? Where is the outrage in America? Where has the media gone in America? Where is the outrage in America? ……So where's the outrage? Where's the outrage? When--when will the voters start to focus? I think they've started about right now. They've started to focus. This is serious business. This is serious business--this is about the public trust. Remember the public trust? Well, they never understood the public trust. It was always a game with this White House. It was always a game. How far can you push the envelope? How much can you get away with? What can you do?

Still feel that way, Bob? If so, please pick up the white courtesy phone.

Bob, you should be outraged. Back in the mid-90s (the years, not your age) you worked yourself into a frenzy over the president's libido and a few files. How does Brownie make you feel, Bob? No fudge or walnuts with this Brownie, but rather a grossly unqualified man whose tenure at the top of a critical agency has cost lives and fortunes. You must be apoplectic by now.

It is remarkable that a man like Michael Brown came anywhere close to this level. First of all, this "lawyer" graduated from an unaccredited law school. Folks, as a graduate of an accredited law school, let me clue you in on our little secret. It isn't that hard to either get into or out of law school (I went to the University of Illinois, a very good law school, did well, the whole law review thing, and graduate school in history was far more difficult, and my wife's MBA work put law school to shame). Harvard, Yale, Chicago, Michigan, Berkeley, sure, that is a tough road but your average college graduate can easily be admitted into and graduate from America's accredited law schools.

There is one reason and one reason only for someone to go to an unaccredited law school. It's not money or hardship, as the overwhelming majority of the unaccredited institutions are private schools. It means one thing--you couldn't get in anywhere else. Think about that one for a second. The director of FEMA was not qualified for admission to an accredited law school.

And from there, after securing his unaccredited degree, Brownie begins a lifetime of failure that leads to our country entrusting him with the responsibility for its greatest natural disaster. He has an undistinguished career in practice, dismissed from one job after being described as "shallow" and then "asked to resign" from a HORSE SHOW ASSOCIATION amidst lawsuits and claims of mismanagement.

One would think that with a degree that doesn't even allow you to practice in most states and a resume replete with failure that Brownie might end up wearing a bad suit and hanging around traffic court. But Brownie is one of the lucky ones. His old college roomie just happened to be Joe Allbaugh, former FEMA head who left to work to re-"elect" President Chimpy (just to complete the evil circle, Joe is now a lobbyist for, ummm, I forget, what's the name of that company? Oh, I remember, HALLIBURTON!)

The lies on the resume become inconsequential at this point. Yes, he appears to have confused "Outstanding Professor" with "student" in terms of experience, and OK, "Assistant City Manager with Emergency Response Authority" is a little different than "an intern who assisted the city manager, usually getting the number of sugars right." What matters is that even if you take the resume with more padding than an offensive lineman at face value, it is still an embarrassment.

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, cronyism costing lives and billions. OK, cronyism is a fact of life, but cronyism gets you an ambassadorship to Luxembourg or simply some nice cash graft, not REAL responsibility. You get to be the U.S. representative to Bermuda, not someone with real work to do! You don't have five of the eight senior FEMA managers have no experience with EMERGENCIES!!

Bob, did you pick up the phone yet?

Are you outraged about the photo ops while people were dying? About the speech plugging the president's shameless war while ignoring the fact that a city was drowning? What about pulling firefighters away from rescue work to be props for your chimera of a president's photo ops as he hunted for a black person to hug?

I am reminded of George O'Leary, who lost a job in disgrace for a tiny fudge on his resume. His job--football coach. Last time I checked, if George wasn't qualified, Notre Dame might lose football games. No death, no destruction, no disaster, just a game, and he was summarily fired.

Oh never mind, Bob. Hang up the white courtesy phone.