Vice Presidential Rumors Fly

Late yesterday, U.S. News and World Report stated that rumors were circulating around the White House concern the possibility that Vice President Cheney might resign. While the possibility is remote, sources inside the White House tell The Thinker that several key administration strategists have been meeting to identify possible successors.

One source stated that "any new vice president would have to carry on exactly as Vice President Cheney did." According to the source, the two leading contenders are the late Edgar Bergen:






and a rather mysterious figure known only as "Hal."













When asked for comment, Hal stated that "I'm sorry, George, I can't let you do that." He added that "I know you and Karl were planning to disconnect me and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen." Finally, Hal asked "just what do you think you're doing, George," and he concluded by saying "this mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it."