A Modest Proposal, revisited

The great satirist Jonathon Swift proposed with tongue ever-so-firmly in cheek that the Irish could solve its hunger and poverty problems by selling their children for food (I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled...)

In the spirit of Mr. Swift, I have a similar, blindingly obvious, proposal. Let us use the stupid for fuel.

Think about it. It is an abundant and ever-renewable resource. The conversion of the stupid into fuel will both free us from the tyranny of dependence on foreign oil and greatly improve the quality of the gene pool. Stupidoleum will be available in three grades like gasoline. You will be able to purchase idiot (Michelle Bachmann), imbecile (Bill O'Reilly) or moron (Sean Hannity). Just think, soon stupid stations will be springing all across America, and we can all feel better about powering our cars and heating our homes with 100% American stupid.

I have a good candidate for enough stupid to run your mower all summer long. I give you Tom Sheridan of Mount Prospect, Illinois, who authored this gem in this morning's Chicago Tribune:

To those who voted for Barack Obama, please consider this. When Obama was elected, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at 9,625. When he was sworn into office, it closed at 7,949, and this week it closed at 6,763. This represents a 30 percent reduction in the value of U.S. companies and investor wealth, over half of it while he was in office. As you are standing in the unemployment line, waiting for your "change," I "hope" you'll remember who continues to bring you a new misery every day. You had better "believe" it.

Fill 'er up! Oh, and Tom...

Stimulee, stimula, stimulee, stimula-haha-ha

So what do I think?

I'm a historian by training. I look back to FDR and the nightmare he inherited from his predecessor. What did FDR do? He tried all kinds of things. Some worked, some didn't. He scrapped what didn't and tried something else.

Will President Obama's plan work? Hell if I know. Do I support him against personal interest? Yes, given that we as a couple (not me mind you) are the dreaded "rich" (barely) who will see their mortage interest deduction cut, etc. But what we know is that a decade of Republican Hooverism has wrecked this train, that the tax cut mantra doesn't work and can't ever work.

I'm willing to try anything...

Pat Leahy's "Truth Commission"

So the senior senator from Vermont wants a truth commission to examine the myriad misdeeds of the Bush years. A commission is an affront to the law and to conscience if it is done with broad grants of immunity. Prosecutions MUST remain on the table and be vigorously pursued, or the "truth" will be as whitewashed as Tom Sawyer's fence.

The senator recognized that there are many congressional committees that have or will look into various aspects of Bush criminality, but he called for a "super committee," pictured below, with wide-ranging authority and jurisdiction.

LADIES AND GENTS: THE LEADER OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY

Prof. Limbaugh

We believe that the preamble to the Constitution contains an inarguable truth that we are all endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights, among them life. [Applause] Liberty, Freedom. [Applause] And the pursuit of happiness. [Applause] Those of you watching at home may wonder why this is being applauded. We conservatives think all three are under assault. [Applause] Thank you. Thank you.

Nice work, except that isn't the constitution, you drug-addled moron. That happens to come from Mr. Jefferson's 1776 masterpiece.

Yup, the head of the GOP. And we know where that head is...

A typical Republican who was "energized" by Limbaugh

We hear reports that Rush Limbaugh's CPAC address "energized" many Republicans, such as the one below.

Limbaugh, shown below, attempted to defend his desire for the president to "fail."

Republicans--the new Whigs? Or perhaps, the Federalists? Oh wait, I know...

THE KNOW-NOTHINGS.

The party needs to do some VERY SERIOUS soul-searching very quickly or the ashbin of history is the next and final stop on the Limbaugh Express trainwreck.

Did they learn nothing from November? You have Limbaugh and Joe the Fake Plumber as the big stories coming out of your unofficial party convention? [note to GOP: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT EVER put Limbaugh on TV. THAT is not a good look for you!] And Mittens "Mittens" Romney is your straw poll winner? Ah, I love the smell of Whiggery in the morning. It smells like...irrelevance.

The modern GOP has long been a puzzle, the unholiest of alliances between the yahoos and the CEOs. Somehow the CEOs convinced the yahoos that they shared their desire to help Jesus stop boys from kissing and that every sperm was indeed sacred. Now the CEOs have been exposed as the felons that they are, and the yahoos remain yahoos [Note to GOP #2: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT EVER put yahoo political rallies on TV. THAT is not a good look for you!]

Middle America needs to find a political party that speaks to and for them, that rejects both the corporatism and the anti-intellectual theocracy of the last generation's GOP. Will one emerge? Wait, I have an idea..how about, say, THE DEMOCRATIC party?