Dwarf-Tossing????

OK, I am a securities lawyer. Securities law, by definition is, oh I don't know--dull? Sure we get the big scandals but usually it is the net capital rule and the "tick" test (don't ask...) but read on...

From the Washington Post:

A Boston Brahmin's Brawls With Donaldson

By Steven Pearlstein
Wednesday, August 10, 2005; D01

Edward C. Johnson III is the very model of a Boston Brahmin billionaire -- a pillar of Yankee discretion and probity whose wife is active at the Society for the Preservation of New England Antiquities and whose family happens to own Fidelity Investments, the nation's largest mutual fund company.

So one can only imagine Johnson's reaction when it became known recently that the Securities and Exchange Commission, as part of a kickback investigation, was looking into who paid for a bachelor party for a Fidelity trader that reportedly featured paid escorts and "dwarf tossing" -- a party game that apparently involves throwing a dwarf in a Velcro suit at a Velcro-covered wall. Johnson also got caught up in the probe, having benefited from two free tickets to the ice-skating competition at the Salt Lake City Olympics from a brokerage firm with which Fidelity does business.

Dwarf tossing??? Now THAT is a party!!!! Who doesn't think that mutual fund investors should pay for a little game of "pitch a Mini-Me???"

As F. Scott Fitzgerald opined, the rich ARE different!

Whodathunkit?

The Chicago Tribune reports:

An Illinois Army National Guard memo distributed to commanders early this year described lapses in leadership, flagging retention and low morale among deployed Guard units and calls into question the ability to field a ready fighting force.

The Illinois Army National Guard's second in command, Brig. Gen. Charles E. Fleming, based the Jan. 29 memo on a survey of 1,200 Guard troops deployed to Iraq, Afghanistan and U.S. bases last year.

"When soldiers were asked questions regarding retention, morale and leadership, the results were shocking," said the memo, which sought to begin correcting the problems.

Of soldiers trained for duty in so-called military occupational specialties--military job skills--the memo says the "Illinois Army National Guard's readiness continues to suffer."

The non-classified memo, which was provided to the Chicago Tribune, identifies particular problems in finding and retaining officers, and it says fewer soldiers are re-enlisting after basic and advanced infantry training--a period when soldiers historically are the most "motivated and aggressive" to further their military careers.

The memo raised concerns about a leadership climate in which it is often felt that officers are more concerned about their own advancement than the well-being of their troops. Soldiers in interviews said they have not raised critical questions over readiness for fear of retribution from Guard leadership.

The memo, called an operations order, comes as the Army National Guard is undergoing convulsive changes to make it more responsive to sudden wartime call-ups.

Nationally, surveys of returning troops find similar trends, and the number of new recruits has been falling in active-duty military, reserve and National Guard units.

The Illinois Army National Guard in particular has grappled with leadership and staffing issues in recent years, the extent of which was outlined in Fleming's memo.

Guard commander Maj. Gen. Randal E. Thomas on Friday called the memo a snapshot taken at a low point in the Guard's morale as its first underequipped troops were returning from Iraq.

"The situation was we've got some issues to solve in personnel and manpower," Thomas said. "This was a strategy, but I do believe we need to change the culture of the Guard."

According to a survey of Illinois Guard members, Fleming cited in the memo, "the majority of soldiers feel they are poorly informed, inadequately cared for, and that training in their units is boring and unorganized."

More than three-quarters thought unit morale was a big problem while deployed to Iraq.

I wish I could have voted for Paul Hackett...

Responding to America's Midday Cancerous Gasbag, Paul told the truth.

Limbaugh said "And it appears that, you know, he goes to Iraq to pad the resumé, come back and run as a big supporter of the war, or at least finishing the project over there."

Yeah, you know, going to Fallujah is "padding the resume"--like student council or Model UN, I guess.

Hackett responds:

That's typical for that fat-ass drug addict to come up with something like that. There's a guy -- I didn't hear this, but actually when I was on drill this weekend, I've got to tell you, he lost a lot of Republican supporters with his comments. Because they were coming up to me, telling me, "I can't believe he said that! And besides that, he called you a soldier. He doesn't know the difference between a soldier and a Marine!" So generally, the consensus is, you know, Rush doesn't know squat about patriotism. He's typical of the new Republican. He's got a lot of lip, and he doesn't walk the walk.

We live in a stupid country.....

It is bad enough that 59 million people (give or take a few imaginary Floridians and Ohioans) thought that a reckless, dangerous, arrogant moron should be president, but now..

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?????

Americans plunked down more than $30 million to see

THE DUKES OF HAZZARD??????

God help us.

A personal message to Bill McCabe of Arlington Heights, Illinois

Dear Bill McCabe:

I don't know you but I have a suggestion for you.

Turn off Limbaugh, switch the channel from Fox News and go outside!!!! Take a look around.

In a letter to the editor published in today's Chicago Tribune, Bill writes:

We need to do what is right as a benevolent member of the international community by helping the Iraqi people and start to worry less about what France and Iran think of our efforts overseas.

Hmmm, let's see.. a benevolent member of the international community and helping the Iraqi people...

Right, when I think of "benevolence" and "help" I immediately think of bombing and conquest! I think of destroying the infrastructure, blowing up the electrical grid and the water distribution system, and bombing hospitals, neighborhoods and schools.

We have benevolently helped at least 25,000 of the Iraqi people and perhaps as many as 150,000 or more by benevolently and helpfully killing them!

Have a nice day, Bill.

There is no such thing.....

I am munching on a FABULOUS piece of 4-year old cheddar cheese from The Cheese Haven in Port Clinton, Ohio. Expensive, but ohmygawd, is it good. You must go, you must!

1) Just think of the stuff you buy at your supermarket that turns into a science project of green fuzzies in about 10 days. This stuff is FOUR YEARS OLD and keeps out of the frig.
2) When this cheese was made, war in Iraq was only a wide (or wild)-eyed fantasy for young President Chimpy.
3) Just think of those disgusting things at your store. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FAT-FREE CHEESE!!!!! If it is "fat free," it is NOT cheese! Ditto for my personal (un)favorite, "fat-free half and half"

VVVVHAT? Half milk and half cream with no fat? "Cream" is defined as "a dairy product composed of the higher-fat layer skimmed from the top of raw milk before homogenization."

It it is non-fat, it isn't "half and half." It is a disgusting lab project.

Your body NEEDS fat. Not what we consume in massive fast-food burgers, but we need fat nonetheless. And if you are going to enjoy, do it right--use the real butter and cream wisely and leave the things that don't exist on the store shelf.

CHEESE HAVEN--GO THERE!!!

The Hippies

I know, I know, we had given President Chimpy a lifetime achievement Hippy (for hypocrisy), but this one deserves special mention. The Simian-in-Chief told us that he pushed through the repulsive Bolton appointment as U.N. ambassador (imagine a Bolton more repugnant than Michael???) because this post was "too important to leave vacant any longer, especially during a war and a vital debate about U.N. reform." VVVVVHAT? For one thing, it isn't vacant, the deputy ambassador was doing a fine job. For another thing, you CAUSED the long vacancy by 1) waiting forever to make the nomination and 2) nominating someone too disgusting to confirm. And secondly, isn't this the same President Monkey who has completely blown off the UN throughout his tenure?? Congratulations, Cheetah. Tarzan and Jane are very proud.