I hope my wife isn't looking...

As I'm sitting here watching the latest "Game of the Century" between "The" Ohio State University and University of Michigan, who should pop up on the screen but



I've felt an odd attraction to her for a long time and having done a little research, now I understand why. She was an NCAA gymnast AND graduated magna cum laude from the University of Maryland... No mention of marital status!

Run in fear

Headline on CNN.com:

"Liberals' wish list focuses on rights"

Not rights! Please, no, not rights! Anything but rights!

(Actually, an earlier version read "Liberals' wish list focuses on abortion, gay rights", so this is an amazing improvement.)

Rummy's "Accomplishments"

(This is real)

DoD ACCOMPLISHMENTS SINCE 2001

In the last six years, the Department has made great strides in modernizing its forces to address the threats of the 21st century.

I. WAR ON TERROR

Overall: A multinational coalition has liberated more than 50 million people in Afghanistan and Iraq, with formation of representative governments and security forces.

Liberated 31 million Afghans from Taliban control and destroyed Al-Qaeda sanctuary –and stood up a provisional Afghan government eight months after operations began

Liberated 27 million Iraqis from a brutal dictatorship and turned over sovereignty of the country to an Iraqi government in 16 months:

Recruited, Organized, Trained, and Equipped Iraqi and Afghan Security Forces:

131,000 Iraqi Ministry of Defense
180,000 Iraqi Ministry of Interior
33,000 National Army
37,000 Afghan National Police

Conducted safe and secure elections in Afghanistan and Iraq

Elections in Iraq

January 30, 2005 election / roughly 55% of voters turnout
October 15, 2005 constitutional ratification / 63 % of voters turnout
December 15, 2005 election / 78 % of voters turnout
March 16, 2006 – Permanent Iraqi Government seated

Elections in Afghanistan

October 9, 2005 election / roughly 80% of voters turnout
December 7, 2005 – Afghan President inaugurated

Captured or killed much of the extremists’ senior leadership; while others are on the run
Saddam Hussein’s sons, killed July 22, 2003
Saddam Hussein, captured December 13, 2003
Ali Hassan Mahmud al-Tikriti AKA Chemical Ali, captured August 21, 2003
Al Qaeda in Iraq leader, Al Zarqawi, killed June 7, 2006

45 of 55 of Saddam’s top regime (deck of cards) killed or captured
Conducted hundreds of intelligence and tactical operations throughout the world with partner nations against terrorist organizations directly or loosely affiliated with Al-Qaeda.

NATO has expanded its reach in Afghanistan – the first time the Alliance has acted outside of its traditional boundaries.

Suspected terrorists held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba have revealed information that has helped thwart attacks against our troops, the American people and our allies.

Oh my God.

We're sure you do, Mr. Preznit--we're sure you do

"We hear voices calling for us to retreat from the world and close our doors to its opportunities."

Does anyone doubt that he hears voices?

RIP

ANN ARBOR, Mich. -- Bo Schembechler, who became one of college football's great coaches in two decades at Michigan, died Friday after taping a TV show on the eve of the Wolverines' No. 1 vs. No. 2 showdown with perennial rival Ohio State. He was 77. Schembechler collapsed during the taping of a television show in Southfield and was taken by ambulance to a nearby hospital. His death at 11:42 a.m. was confirmed by Mike Dowd, chief investigator for the medical examiner's office in Oakland County.

Buh bye

A shout-out to ZinfandelFan

A change of pace...

It's not great wine, but it's great fun..

True colors, revisited

The esteemed Schmidlap wrote, "the recent trend in the Republican Party is refreshing. This new incarnation where they have quit bothering trying to hide their racism works for me."

Case in point:

Talk dope Glenn Beck, in an interview on CNN's Headline News with Minnesota's Representative-elect Keith Ellison, the first Muslim ever elected to Congress, asked "I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies...I'm not accusing you of being an enemy, but that's the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way."

What? Because the man is religious, he is AN ENEMY?? Well, he's obviously a dangerous man, just look at this threatening man:



And of course, the Senate Republicans elected Trent Lott to the all-too-humorous post of "Minority Whip." The genius who gave us "Why do they hate each other? Why do Sunnis kill Shiites? How do they tell the difference? They all look the same to me."

We also all remember how Chimpy told us after Katrina that "Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house--he's lost his entire house--there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch."

Well, the porch is done, here they are!

Separated at birth?

Veteran character actor Len Cariou












New House majority leader Steny Hoyer

Today's visit from Mr. Dictionary Man

DEMENTIA de-men-tia (n) a deterioration of intellectual faculties, such as memory, concentration, and judgment, resulting from an organic disease or a disorder of the brain, often accompanied by emotional disturbance and personality changes; madness; insanity.

1) The Bush administration has appointed a new chief of family-planning programs at the Department of Health and Human Services who worked at a Christian pregnancy-counseling organization that regards the distribution of contraceptives as "demeaning to women." (link)

2) According to the president, the lesson of Viet Nam was "We'll succeed unless we quit."

and

3) The Guardian reports that President George Bush has told senior advisers that the US and its allies must make `a last big push' to win the war in Iraq and that instead of beginning a troop withdrawal next year, he may increase US forces by up to 20,000 soldiers, according to sources familiar with the administration's internal deliberations.

A "last push" to "win?" Win what in this grotesque lost cause--and at what cost? This is the most base form of criminality at work here, sacrificing lives for nothing but a vainglorious attempt to subvert the already-written verdict of history.

I am reminded of two quotes concerning the horrific Civil War engagement at Cold Harbor:

Confederate Gen. Evander Law said, "it was not war; it was murder," and Union Capt. T.E. Barker said that he would "not take my regiment in another such charge if Jesus Christ himself should order it!"

Murder? Yes, and I don't see Jesus issuing any orders.

Meanwhile, back in Frostbite Falls...

"We Will not Be Able to Survive Much Longer"

Iraq's health minister, Ali al-Shameri, 44, discusses the effects of the US elections on his country.

The Americans are the reason for the disaster in our country. Rumsfeld made many mistakes, and we are pleased to see him go. The Americans understand nothing about Iraq. They are not protecting us, but just themselves. The Democrats' victory will make things easier for us....About 100 people die every day as a result of violence, and three times as many are wounded. Doctors are being threatened and are fleeing the country. Of a total of 18,000 doctors, the best--close to a thousand--have already left the country. I don't have enough hospitals and far too few beds. We are running out of strength, both financially and otherwise, and we will not be able to survive much longer.

Workin' hard--makin progress--gettin' all freedom-y!

Dumbass Cubed

I am becoming more and more convinced that the "Voice of the People" editor over at the Chicago Tribune uses some kind of weird dartboard methodology in choosing missives for publication... the following triumvirate used up over 80% of the column inches devoted to letters:

Sandra Myers of Bensenville, IL writes:

I smoke. This is a very bold statement to make in this day and age. Do I commit murders? No. Do I rob people? No. So why have I become the criminal? I am a mother, a member of my community and church. Do I deserve to be treated as if I am a criminal? I have rights just like a non-smoker. I understand that some people cannot understand that, but aren't they discriminating against me and other smokers? At what point did smoking become illegal? If it did, then I do not have the right to smoke, but if it did not, then I have the right to smoke as much as anyone over the age of 18.I believe it is time to stop discriminating against smokers. Give us our areas to smoke in and we will go there. Don't treat us worse than animals and shove us out in the bitter cold several feet from the doors. Don't put us on display for people to point and criticize us.

With today's advancements in technology there are plenty of high-quality smoke eaters that can be installed in designated areas of public establishments that will allow us to have a cigarette without offending any non-smoker. Remember we are your neighbors, day-care workers, teachers, priests and friends. It is time to stop stripping us of our rights and dignity.

By God, you're right Sandra!!! I quit smoking 7 1/2 years ago and I decided to use the money that I'd been spending on cigarettes to purchase furry little puppies, which I could then sacrifice in Daley Plaza, right under the Picasso. I figured that it was my right, and as there was no secondhand smoke or alcohol involved there'd be no problem. But I found that there are damned laws against it... It just goes to show how far these butt-ins at the city council will go to kill a guy's buzz...

Ms Myers' letter is followed immediately by this gem from Cincinnati's own Robert Moon:

If members of the Democratic Party want to market themselves as the party of the working middle class, they might want to reconsider their policies like the minimum wage increase, which merely makes everything more expensive for the middle class, makes the poor even less employable and further empowers companies like Wal-Mart by killing off their competition.They might also want to rethink their support for higher taxes on small businesses, which cripples economic growth.They should rethink their ceaseless opposition to any and all measures against frivolous lawsuits, which dramatically increases health-care costs and kills jobs.And they should rethink their undying support for labor unions, which needlessly makes it unaffordable for American companies to keep their work in this country.

You know Robert, Walmart isn't the problem - it's the solution!! We don't need to create a living wage in this country - we need more and more of our working poor working at more and more Walmarts. Of course, they'll need to get a second job, since Walmart intentionally depresses their full-time staff and refuses to offer anything approaching real benefits, but hey, there's nothing like a 60 or 70 hour work week at minimum wage to build character. Besides, parenting time for the working poor is way over-rated, and all those poor minority kids will fend for themselves just fine without affirmative action and college diversity programs (well, at least it's true in Jonah Goldberg's world). And yep, labor unions are the reason that all of the jobs have left this country because as you well know, overseas unorganized labor is treated incredibly well by those multi-national corporations...

and finally Keith Best of Wausesha, Wisconsin shares his deep depth of wisdom:

I feel sorry for all the great people around our nation who don't understand the ramifications of our recent election.

A major change in Congress has just given power to a party that is more worried about the rights of detainees who, when given the chance, would kill as many Americans as possible. This same party opposes the National Security Agency wiretapping program designed to monitor calls from troubled areas around the world to inside these United States without court approval in each case.

This is a party whose leaders were so desperate for power that their every action seemed to embolden our enemies, because our president was doing all he could to protect us. It seems like the American people are more worried about who is next to be eliminated on "Dancing with the Stars" than the fact that Al Qaeda has deemed the war in Iraq as the central front in its war against us. It is imperative that we win. I hope we can forgive these people, for they know not what they have done.

What I love most about Keith's letter is the adaptation of a famous biblical verse to highlight just how wrong-headed all those "great people" are who supported democrats in the election last week. I mean, really, guys like Darth, Rummy and Drinky all knew precisely what they were doing when they declared war on a tactic and commenced to shredding individual clauses and whole amendments in the constitution. And really, who understands all those liberal foreign terms like ex post facto and habeas corpus. Besides, as General Boykin has rightly pointed out: Our God is bigger than their god...


Oh, and Keith, since you've identified the problems and seem to be in possession of all the answers, can you please tell me when we know we've "won" this war? And while you're pondering that, join Sandra and Robert and

Scott Ritter on Iraq

Scott Ritter, former UN weapons inspector, has a thoughtful piece on Iraq, the Democrats and the future here. Unfortunately I think his well-reasoned ideas are little more than a pipe dream because dumping the Iraqi "government" as he suggests is tossing away the last (albeit absolutely fraudulent) claim by war proponents of anything that that had ever been in the same time zone as "legitimacy."

Comments?

And this one is just funny, from Fox "News."

Yet another improvement

Of the myriad things that will be better in January, here's another one: Robert Byrd replaces Ted Stevens as President Pro Tempore of the Senate, placing him just behind Nancy Pelosi in the line of succession. Not a likely occurrence, but still.

This historian's wish list

The "Mad King Ludwig" of Bavaria gave us this...



The "Mad King George" of Crawford gave us this...






We definitely have the wrong mad king!

The [NOT] Liberal Media

Check out this piece about the Washington Post revising articles after the fact so as to avoid telling the president that his pants are on fire... 

On a lighter note

The Chicago Cubs re-signed right-handed pitcher Kerry Wood. Kerry is shown below going through his usual relaxing off-season conditioning program:

Freedom's on the march (unfortunately, it's that explode-y kind of freedom)

BAGHDAD, Iraq - The Shiite prime minister promised Sunday to reshuffle his Cabinet after calling lawmakers disloyal and blaming Sunni Muslims for raging sectarian violence that claimed at least 159 more lives, including 35 men blown apart while waiting to join Iraq’s police force. Among the unusually high number of dead were 50 bodies found behind a regional electrical company in Baqouba, 35 miles northeast of Baghdad, and 25 others found scattered throughout the capital. Three U.S. troops were reported killed, as were four British service members.

Congratulations, David J. Van Deusen of Chicago!

Once again proving John Stuart Mill correct when he wrote that he "never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid, I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative," David J. Van Deusen of Chicago has won an all-expense paid trip to the Dumbass Corner for this gem!

I am sorry that most Americans elected "cut and run" liberals to control the U.S. House and Senate. I am sorry most Americans believed the lopsided, negative-only stories on Iraq presented by our partisan press. Keep fighting for your country's democracy. Keep fighting to become the beacon of hope of freedom for the Middle East and the other oppressed areas of the world.

David J. Van Deusen
Chicago

That's quite a beacon of hope you've got there, Dave!

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP)- A suicide bomber blew himself up outside a police recruiting center in Baghdad early Sunday, killing at least 33 people and wounding 56, police said. Crowds of recruits were gathering outside the center in western Baghdad’s Nissur Square when the bomber detonated explosives strapped to his body, police Lt. Maitham Abdul-Razaq said. He said the death toll was expected to rise because many of the injuries were extremely serious.

Steve Chapman, in the same paper, stated it well:

The real U.S. strategy at this stage is to hold on and hope for a miracle--which is not good enough to justify our continuing sacrifice of lives and money. Withdrawing now, it's true, may plunge Iraq into even worse turmoil, with terrible consequences for its people and potential dangers for us. But noting the risks of failure doesn't tell us whether there is any way to succeed.

There are no miracles happening in this disaster, and Dave...