I have led an armed coup and our forces have overthrown Bud Selig and removed him as commissioner of baseball. Because of the incompetence with which he has managed our beloved game, I am sure that the president will appoint him to a sensitive, high-ranking national security position.
As acting commissioner, I have issued the following edicts:
1. Home field advantage in the World Series will be awarded to the team with the most wins. Period.
2. No team from the National League West will participate in this year's playoffs. Sorry, Padres, at this point you are 1/2 game ahead of THE CUBS. The playoff spot will be awarded to the wild-card runnerup in the American League.
3. No teams shall use a designated hitter in the playoffs or henceforth and forever more.
4. On Saturdays and Sundays, all World Series games will be played during the day.
5. All night playoff games will begin at an hour early enough and the number of commercials will be limited so that 48-year old men may watch the games in their entirety and not wake up at 2 A.M. in front of a Craftmatic adjustable bed infomercial.
Let it be written, let it be done.
of you have sat, and perhaps thought, with us!
3 comments:
Aren't we down to just Minnesota, TB, and Toronto with artificial turf, too? Let's dump that once and for all.
Yeah, I really want to see David Wells go up there and weakly wave a bat three times with no chance to hit anything except the buffet table. It's not like I'd get to see David Ortiz or Manny Ramirez instead, right?
Sorry Pete: the DH should be implemented in both leagues, now and forever more. I don't know when it became acceptable for pitchers to be pathetic embarrassments at the plate, but it definitely has, and I don't understand why anyone, anywhere, wants to watch it.
I have a better chance of hitting major league pitching than most major league pitchers. Do you want to pay to watch me strike out over and over again? If so, let's just head down to the Major League cage at Haunted trails. Bring your checkbook.
Schmidlap,
I won't quarrel with your pro-DH point. My main concern is the one league with, one league without. It is absurd having "divisions" of one sport playing with (and constructing their rosters for) fundamentally different rules. It is moronic that Mannym etc. can play at home in the WS but not on the road.
Post a Comment