Mitt Romney Becomes A Twilight Zone Episode: "THE ETCH-A-SKETCH CANDIDATE"

"SUBMITTED FOR YOUR APPROVAL:

Willard Mitt Romney. Millionaire. Financier. Perennial political candidate. Governor of the most liberal state in the union, driven by a burning ambition to be president. Because he can. Because his father ran for president and failed. Because he suffered a humiliating loss to the president's brother running for United States senator. Because he is shunned by his class when his back isn't even turned, his religion is mocked, his wife is a better politician and privately disdains him, and his dog Seamus hated him — with good reason.

Willard has no core, no belief system, no political convictions. He is a moderate when it suits him, a liberal when he needs to be, and 'severely conservative' when he craves the acceptance of his party faithful. But they have no faith in him. Willard despairs. Then one day, he awakens from a nightmare and discovers to his horror, like the character in Kafka's Metamorphosis, that his nightmare is a living reality: He has become The Etch-A-Sketch Man, who can 'hit the reset button, shake it up like an Etch-A-Sketch, and start all over again'. Yet his curse is to realize that trying to be like everybody, 'is the same as being nobody, for on the periphery of every success lies a brooding monster known as a flash in the pan.'

And so begins Willard's FINAL political journey — into THE TWILIGHT ZONE."

Back on the campaign trail, Willard tries to shake his Etch-A-Sketch persona — to no avail. His opponents won't let him forget, and he begins to feel the metamorphosis: “Strange Things Are Happening To Me ...” says a despairing Willard. Indeed.