58 SECOND FLAT POST-GOP DEBATE ANALYSIS: Rick Santorum Possessed By The Devil!

DUDE, WE WERE PULLING for you, and you BLEW IT.

Rick Santorum had plenty of precedent to know what was coming; hey man, you're crazy, STICK WITH CRAZY! Right now, your main goal is to beat Mittens in Michigan. Your ace in the hole is Romney saying to Michiganders, let the auto industry drop dead.

WHAT LIARS AND DEMAGOGUES; ALL THREE-and-a-half OF THEM.

Memo To Paulies and Paulines, including the Lizard King: Some "saint" that ridiculous, preposterous Ron Paul is, eh? He's been reduced to a Romney groupie; the guy's helping Romney get the nomination so he can be appointed Chairman of the Fed, to destroy it, or Treasury Secretary, to yes, destroy the Fed. Ron Paul's not running for president and he won't be getting what he wants from Romney, either. Romney, who's an unprincipled scumbag, through and through, is tossing his new dog, Ron Paul, a bone, who in turn is tossing his supporters a bone; more like PLAYING YOU FOR FOOLS. Wake up, Paulies and Paulines, and smell the corrupt politics of cynicism played by an aging racist clown.

As for Newt, he's a case study in the corruption of Citizens United, SuperPac Sugar Daddy politics. He's totally bought and controlled by his billionaire master, Sheldon Adelson. He was under strict orders not to attack Romney, if he wants his $10 to $100 million from Sheldon. Where was all that animosity from Florida? Gone with the wind, and a new infusion of cash as Mr. 1% sat there with his snarky cheshire cat grin.

Someone's got to knock that chip off Mr. 1%'s shoulder, and we were counting on the crazy dude to, hey, GET CRAZY MAN. Inexplicably, Rick Santorum was MIA. He decided he was going to show us all what an honest, reasonable guy he is. PSST, RICK: WE ALREADY KNOW YOU BELIEVE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING; you're TOO CRAZY, dude ... no need to preach to the choir. WE'RE BEHIND YOU.

WORSE THING Santorum could have done, he did: REPRISE John Kerry trying to explain he was for something before he was against it! Pretty stupid, but we're still urging Democratic Michiganders to cross party lines and vote for Rick. We don't like to see the filthy politics of Newt and Romney, not to speak of the hypocrisy of Ron Paul, who's hitched his wagon to Romney's like a sycophantic lap dog, throwing his supporters — who despise Romney — under the broke down Gingrich bus.

Rick, you blew it. But we like people of principle, even if you're crazy. So we'll try to convince our Democratic friends to vote for your honesty, and AGAINST Romney for telling the auto industry and the workers to drop dead.

DISCLAIMER: I know, I know ... Santorum is offensive; but he's CRAZY honest, while the others are just plain offensive. Helping him win Michigan is good strategy for the Dems. What A Clown show. Srsly.