WINGNUT WATCH: Stocking Monsters To Really REALLY FRIGHTEN Wingnuts …

Aww … Our restive wingnut zombie population, avid TV viewers of the Barrett-Jackson car auctions — because muscle cars compensate for intimacy, normal relationships, and sexual inadequacy — the johns and janes of a whorehouse named FOX, and consumers of The Daily Caller, are real SKEERT, terrified, “FRIGHTENED” that these stocking monsters will ruin their holidays:

1. President O-BADASSMA-ma: While the GOP’s latest frontrunner Newt turns off larger and larger portions of the general electorate by proposing the repeal of 100 years of child labor laws and a return to 19th century indentured servitude and exploitation of women and children — go for it, Newt, we’re lovin’ it!...

Skippy the prissy Mittster hurled the GOP nuclear option at President Obama, the get-on-your-knees-and-pray Hail Mary! pass. Vaulting right over the usual charges that Democrats are “soft” on Defense, Skippy went straight for the “appeasement” canard, a sure sign of desperation. Except this time it won’t stick, and it won’t work, with our — NINJA! president:

OOPS …

2. Occupy Wall Street: Who’d a thunk that the OWS kids mocked by Newt and wingnut pundits like Ron Christie regurgitating old 60s establishment scorn — “go take a bath!” and “get a job!” — have the GOP establishment sweating rubber bullets and projectiles, so much so that Frank Luntz is feverishly rewriting their propaganda scripts:

OOPS …

3. The 1980s! Wow … The pathetic, generationally brain-addled wingnut SAPS are suddenly REALLY fearful of embracing the decade of their deity, Ronald Reagan. Little wonder, since it spawned 30 years of flatlined middle class wages, an explosion of income inequality, deficits, the theft of wealth from the bottom and middle to the very top 1%, the flight of American jobs overseas, and the gutting of our manufacturing base. So we get a ridiculous story like this from a clueless wingnut Daily Caller chick, to be read with whiny valley girl diction: “Heee’s Soooo 1980s!”?! And your point is … (?):

Which presidential candidate said this in an ad: “I refuse to make your family pay more so that millionaires can pay less?” Who promised to “fight for seniors” against opponents who wanted to “slash Medicare? If you answered President Barack Obama, you’re about 27 years too late. Those pronouncements came from an ad for Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro, the Democratic pols who ran against Ronald Reagan in 1984. (Mondale’s ticket lost to Reagan in a landslide, winning only one state.) This year Obama is pushing the same themes as Mondale, and other former Democratic presidential candidates.

Oh, I see. The wingnut chick’s PLEA is for President Obama to STOP echoing core Democratic Party themes dating back to the New Deal and the Great Society because, she argues, weak Democratic candidates gained no traction from them in the 80s, and… the country’s (pretty please?) moved on. Really? You wish. When Frank Luntz panics, you’re in trouble, my widdle DC wingnuts. Besides, what’s wrong with the 80s? It gave us Happy Days, the A-Team, the best one-hit musical wonders in Rock history, Star Wars, Gordon Gekko and Ronald Reagan.

The country’s wised up, wingnuts. And judging by those FRIGHTENED DC pathetic hit pieces attempting to disparage OWS for: (a) being white and affluent — (like the Founding Fathers?) ... but untrue and misleading nonetheless — then (b) “hypocrisy” for posting $400 (!) to pay monthly rental on a campsite property — the kind of income that barely covers a single studio rental in anywhere USA; wingnuts remain clueless. They whine the movement isn’t genuine like, say, the Koch Bros.-financed Tea Party … unless it’s destitute and has no contributions or sources of funding. More absurd wingnut spitballs. But reading the DC gives us valuable insight into the wingnuts' teenie tiny bigoted brains; a treasure trove for psychology and psychiatry professionals studying the twisted 'logic' of the right.

ATTENTION, WINGNUTS: EVEN your deity, Ronald Reagan, is hip to the Democratic message:

OH MY. Ronald Reagan, Jr. said, "just shows you how far (right) the Republican Party has come since then." OUCH. And OOPS …

4. NEWT GINGRICH: YES-yes-yes …. Just in time for the Holidays, the GRINCH who stole everyone’s thunder has managed to turn the staid political world of the Beltway Media/Idiot Punditocracy/GOP Establishment on its head. LITERALLY. Newt Gingrich is a one-man political wrecking crew. He has totally unsettled the POLITICO world of IP luminaries like Chris Matthews, who warned progressives, DARKLY, that we should be “careful what (we) wish for.” Meaning, of course, liberals and progressives are DOUBLY rejoicing at the prospect of a Gingrich challenge to President Obama as the Republican Party nominee! It’s totally hilarious to see Chris Matthews, Chris Christie and John Sununu on the same page, not to mention the Coultergeist — this loon is afraid Newt will be "foisting EST on the nation" (!) — as Rush Limbaugh rails against the GOP “establishment.” Meanwhile, FOX and the DC are “soooo conf-US-ed…” The wingnuts are in CHAOS! OH MY … Indeed.

5. Teddy Roosevelt: Nothing like invoking the spirit of a top-three icon of the "grand old party" when it actually lived up to its acronym. In my earlier post I laid out Teddy's broad progressive vision from his "New Nationalism" speech of 1910 in Osawatomie, Kansas. Here are a few more tidbits, relevant to today's extremist Republicans. Would Teddy pass muster in today's Republican Party? No way, Joe. The only question is, will President Obama rise to the challenge of his aspirational marker:

In the audience at Osawatomie in 1910 were many veterans of the Civil War, stroking gray beards just a few years before the unthinkable violence of the Great War broke out in Europe. They heard a far-reaching vision from Roosevelt.

On the rich: “The right to regulate the use of wealth in the public interest is universally admitted.”

On labor:  “We need comprehensive workmen’s compensation acts, both state and national laws to regulate child labor.”

On the environment: “Conservation is a great moral issue, for it involves the patriotic duty of ensuring the safety and continuance of the nation.”

On corporate power:  “The Constitution guarantees protection to property and must make that promise good. But it does not give the right of suffrage to any corporation.”

Today, Gingrich has called child labor laws “truly stupid,” and has suggested that poor grade school students do the work of janitors at schools. The Supreme Court has elevated corporations to full citizenship, freeing them to use their power to dominate elections. Forget about conservation — virtually every major Republican presidential candidate denies the basic science of a potential global climate catastrophe. And Glenn Beck, a leading voice for the Republican crazy caucus, calls Roosevelt-style progressivism “a cancer on our Constitution.”

But it’s shame that Obama, in channeling T.R. from a long ago summer’s evening, could not reach for anything more stirring in his proposals than a call for the approval of his consumer protection bureau appointee, and the continuance of tax cuts for wage-earners.

So it is, a curse of the modern political age: no one from our times is even a distant candidate for Mount Rushmore.