DISPATCHES FROM THE SHADOW GOVERNMENT: THE BRAIN OF GLENN BECK IS UNDER OUR CONTROL

Please resume all normal activities. FULL STOP.

Dear boys and girls: Do you believe in coincidence? Zeitgeist? I didn’t think so. How about mind control? Ah, now we’re getting somewhere.

We hadn’t planned on it coming to this. We prefer to manipulate our TOOLS, our PATSIES, our PUPPETS in secret. From behind the curtain. In the shadows.

But Glenn Beck is a cunning adversary. He has been resistant to our mind probes. He has tossed out a lot of brain chaff to misdirect us. Confused and deflected our mind control waves. But the Fox Carney Crier was only postponing the inevitable.

We were at the gates! Then inside! GlennDavy Beck Crockett retreated screaming to the inner sanctum of  his Alamo. But it was a rearguard action. The vast leftwing progressive assault of Generalíssimo SantSorosAnna Aliena overran the final redoubt of Glenn Beck’s diseased brain. ZAP. Ahhh … relief. Was it real or was it Zanax?

And it was done. See, lately we’ve been turning the screws on Glenn Beck. You can run Beckster, but you’ve got nowhere to hide. We found out how to lock into your brain frequency. Mess with your psychotic mind. Would you like a referral to a psychiatrist? We have a network of physicians who hunger to treat you.

Here’s the AMAZING evidence — On 11-9 (reverse the numbers ... Oh my.) our blog posted this astonishing PROPHECY:

“Glenn Beck piously opened the show by playing the victim, whining that “the floodgates of progressive hell open up” on Beck and his followers. He claims they are being “demonized for defending anything you hear on this program” (fair comment), complains of being described as “a guy who’s just full of hate, a racist, a conspiracy theorist” (all true, provable facts!) “who’s trying to create another Oklahoma City, that’s the latest from the Soros clan.” Full stop. No idea what Beck means by the “Soros clan,” although delusional conspiracists always need a puppet master pulling the strings to make their conspiracies work (it’s the nature of the beast). But yes, inciting violence and “revolution” in a demented follower is a fact. Fortunately, this disturbed individual, Byron Williams, was captured in a wild police shootout before he could carry out his killings. Beck admits it: (1) We also say things that others may be thinking …”

Then we mixed in a dose of  fear and loathing with this headline:

And this frightening graphic of Tides Foundation headquarters. They have the POWER, Glenn, THE POWER! (Get a grip, Beck. STOP SOBBING.) Here’s another anti-psychotic drug; now go prepare your (OUR) show.

Here it is, boys and girls. A message from the Left through the brainwashed bloviations of Glenn Beck. Enjoy! Oh, and in case you still doubt us, Beck mentioned this too:

 

MIND-BLOWING!