As 2009 winds down, it’s time to reflect on the perils of the enemy within –- THE STOOPID. THE STOOPID so outnumber the rational that they pose a greater threat to the people’s welfare, healthcare, and pocketbooks, than any realistic threat of terrorism; a threat, incidentally, which THE STOOPID enabled then politicized with fear and loathing and hypocrisy.
SCUMBAG OF THE YEAR: Dick Cheney
Only in America, THE STOOPID can a lying hypocrite and coward who took seven deferments to stay out of serving his country in Vietnam pound his chest and criticize the Obama administration for the national security train wreck Bush/Cheney created.
LIAR OF THE YEAR: Sarah Palin
Only in America, THE STOOPID can a truth-challenged MORON like Sarah Palin perpetuate the biggest lie of the year about nonexistent “death panels” in the healthcare reform bills, then parlay her lies into a best selling book that she didn’t write for THE STOOPID white people who don’t care that it’s filled with more STOOPID LIES.
Runners-Up: Liz (like father/like daughter) Cheney, Joe (I LIE!!!) Wilson, Jim (I WISH I’D LIED TOO) DeMint, (also nominated in other categories) GOP, Teabaggers, “Truthers,” Dick Armey, Joe Lieberman, lobbyists, Rush Limbaugh, FOX “News” (collectively), Glenn Beck . . . really, too many to mention.
GRAMPS OF THE YEAR: Chuck Grassley and John McCain
When these doddering old fools keep repeating Sarah Palin's lies about “pulling the plug on Grandma” to incite their STOOPID constituencies, it makes one wish we could pull the metaphorical plug on them.
LUNATIC OF THE YEAR: Glenn Beck
It doesn’t take a licensed psychiatrist to realize this dude’s seriously delusional, clinically insane bordering on psychotic. And the scariest thing is he has a loyal following of THE STOOPID who actually believe Beck is a well person. THE STOOPID are in dire need of mental health services. Can we build some insane asylum gulags in Alaska to warehouse them? (Kidding!)
CULT OF THE YEAR: The C Street “Family”
The revisionist “Christian brotherhood” in the heart of D.C. spawned anti-abortion DINO crusader Bart Stupak, hosted and encouraged adulterous GOP politicos (because, as the chosen, the rules don't apply to them), sponsored parallel track renegade foreign policy, promoted a Ugandan law to criminalize and kill gays, and saw its tax-exempt status as a “church” revoked by the IRS after decades of sinister freeloading. What would Jesus do? Hmm.
STOOPID OF THE YEAR: Teabaggers
These Caucasian tools are the very embodiment of THE STOOPID. They can’t read (always finding what’s not there in the health bills), they can’t spell (those signs are enough to make kindergarten teachers question their vocation), they don’t know their own history, the difference between the (“U.S.S.”) Constitution and the Declaration of Independence (neither do Republican party leaders, for that matter), let alone that socialist and fascist are not one and the same, and President Obama is neither.
Oh, and they can't count either, unable to distinguish between 20,000 (the average size of their D.C. protests) and one million (their slightly inflated claims of their numbers). In short, the Teabaggers get a failing grade in the three Rs -- reading, writing, and arithmetic -- the minimum necessary education to function in society.
(Arne Duncan, Sec. of Education: can you spare any stimulus funds to give these people remedial courses in the three Rs? Their protest rallies would be a good place to sign them up. And they could start by correcting the typos in their hate signs!)
GUTTERSNIPE OF THE DECADE: Rush Limbaugh
Only in America, THE STOOPID would such a sleazy, repulsive pig make millions broadcasting his daily vomit of lies, sophistry, demagoguery, and racist hate speech, attaining such power and notoriety that he is hailed the BOSS of the GOP.
STOOPID OLD PARTY: GOP
The party of “NO” has no ideas, no policies, no plans, except to defeat President Obama and prevent the Democrats from governing by resorting to the filibuster more than at any time in the history of the republic. Shameful.
STOOPID NEW PARTY: Tea Party
If New York’s 23rd District is any indication, the new party of THE STOOPID could well prove to be THE STOOPID/GOP/Beckista “Waterloo.” After all, wouldn’t the short, rotund, wild-eyed Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh look just perfect in a Napoleon get-up?
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