(National Fake Wires) At a recent seance, the spirits of several deceased U.S. military leaders called on Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to resign. The dead added their voices from beyond to those of several living generals who have recently criticized the secretary.Ulysses S. Grant said, "remember that line about how `the art of war is simple enough? Find out where your enemy is?' Rumsfeld doesn't even know who the enemy is, let alone where he is. Sweet Jesus, I need a drink."
An invisibly angry General George Patton expressed similar sentiments, when he said "Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way, right? Rumsfeld couldn't lead a kindergarten class in a round of Happy Birthday. The bastard is too arrogant to follow, so that leaves only option--GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY, DON!!
The disembodied voice of a rather philospohical Dwight Eisenhower remembered how he "hated war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity," and then added added "let's see, futile, brutal and stupid, sound like anyone we know, DON?"
These opinions were not unanimous, however. Secretary of State Rumsfeld received high marks for his loyalty from deceased former general Benedict Arnold. He was also was praised by some notable enlisted personnel.
"I've never met a smarter man than Secretary Don, smart as can be, smart, smart, smart," said
Finally, Secretary Rumsfeld was commended for his hard work and diligence by
of you have sat, and perhaps thought, with us!
3 comments:
Wow. How unfunny. You must be so proud.
I laughed.
Unfunny because it's true. Not a single one of those men would support the "war".
Post a Comment