Misunderestimations

Candidate Chimpy said that the media often "misunderestimated" him.

I have been wrong so many times about George W. Bush and the American electorate. I clearly have "misunderestimated" both the body politic and this politician.

In 2000, I was convinced that when he moved beyond southern state primaries onto a national stage that the country would realize there was no "there" there (with apologies to both Gertrude Stein and Oakland!) Well, when that didn't happen, I said, thankfully, there are still the debates, and.... that didn't work. Ah, but wait, I said, a vigilant, independent press will surely do their job to excuse the failings, foibles and frauds of this grotesque caricature of a candidate…hmm, no.

Even after the debacle of the 2000 election, the theft of Florida and a Supreme Court decision so flawed that they won’t even allow it to be cited as precedent, I once again misunderestimated the situation. I thought that OK, we were screwed, but how bad could it be? We’ll lose the protections of some EPA rules and see a couple of wackos named to the federal bench, but we’re a resilient country, we’ll get by.

How bad could it be, I wondered, how bad could it be. Oh Lord, did I misunderestimate.

First, he bungles the invasion of Afghanistan, as a legitimate attack on the Taliban becomes an abortive campaign to support the Northern Alliance and turn the country over to the opium lords. And then on top of that, we wage an unholy war in Iraq resulting from filial pride and neocon ambition that kills by the thousands and drains the treasury.

Surely, I thought, now the country will wake up to both demand an honest election and to turn out this incompetent administration. I had no illusions now about how bad things could be, I would not misunderestimate the president. But I did sorely misunderestimate the press and the American electorate.

But now, please, people, can you see this time? The president goes to parties and plays guitar while New Orleans drowns. FEMA is staffed by political hacks that have no idea what Federal, Emergency or Management mean, and all levels of the administration try to bob and weave and blame someone else. Can you see this time?

Tell me I haven’t misunderestimated you again.