And today's missing cute girl is..

Note to a large portion of America, pictured below:

Do not give your baby girls cute names. No more Caylees. No more Haleighs. No more marrying your 17-year old "girlfriends" while "grieving." I am of course disturbed by how these freaks abuse and kill their children, but sadly..it is not news. Go away.

So how many more days...

until Michael Steele,pictured below,

receives his walking papers?

An idea with no "merit."

Dear Mr. President:

You mentioned the subject of merit pay for teachers. Did I happen to miss the development of a metric that can accurately and comparatively evaluate teachers? If I didn't miss anything, then you're talking NCLB II and the disastrous folly of teaching to the test..after test..after test.

Mr. President, children are not widgets, and education is not a commodity. Education is a cumulative, cooperative and socially dynamic process that cannot be defined, assessed or quantified by a scantron sheet. Sir, there are many things we can do to improve education, and I applaud you for your interest in an area where your predecessor only wanted to privatize and theocratize education. I'm sure you have many good ideas on the subject. This, however, isn't one of them.

To quote Etta OR Beyonce...At Last.....

President Obama to Lift Stem Cell Restrictions
Obama to Sign Executive Order Reversing Bush Policy
By DAN CHILDS and LISA STARKMarch 9, 2009

President Obama is expected today to end an 8½-year ban on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research.

See more at link

It pisses me off that over 8 years have been wasted, literally wasted, because a foolish adminstration cared mored about frozen blastocytes that were to be discarded anyway than living, breathing and suffering children and adults. Finally, the Village Idiot is back home and sanity abides back in DC. I'm hope it isn't too late for everybody that was screwed by the fool.

I usually don't do this but...

If you're out and about on Chicago's north side (Belmont near Racine), stop in for a bite and a brew at Joey's Brickhouse restaurant (link in the sidebar). Good family-owned place, great friends to progressive causes and makers of a mean pizza. They are also getting screwed over by a recently bailed-out bank who loves playing hardball with small businesses. So if you're headed to the theater or out to a show at the Vic, or just to watch the games, stop in and see Joey and Greg.

Depression Psychology: Always Darkest Before the Dawn

This is one of those rare moments in our nation’s history in which panic about our economic survival, let alone short-term viability, is beginning to set in, driving the markets' slow death spiral. Wall Street reflects the growing anxiety felt on Main Street where credit remains frozen and every day looks like Christmas Day in March -- without the gifts.

President Obama has governed with a steady hand and his quiet confidence has won over the American people. As a student of history, he knows that in times of crisis the nation rallies to the leaders who have remained calm and steady in the midst of dark, swirling storms of uncertainty and fear. Men such as Lincoln, who led us through civil war and saved the union, and FDR, who brought the country back from the brink of Depression and dictatorship with unlimited faith in his “laughing revolution” facing down fear.

And yet, even as the stimulus money slowly makes its way into a moribund economy, there is apparent indecision within the Obama Administration about how to restore our financial system, and what to do with those so-called “toxic assets,” driving the markets’ freefall. Treasury Secretary Geithner has not inspired confidence in the markets with vague ever-changing plans, trial balloons, and a seeming lack of urgency. To make matters worse, the post of Undersecretary remains unfilled at Treasury, as well as other key positions, prompting some in the media to say Geithner is “home alone.”

Our faith in the President remains strong, but there is some unease that while he moves aggressively on the long-term future fronts of health care, energy, and green jobs, he is neglecting the short-term crisis of confidence in our markets that Tim Geithner, fairly or not, has the right prescription to rescue the financial system. In Britain, the government is moving swiftly to nationalize its banks, the latest being a 77% stake in the once venerable Lloyds of London. Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman warns that if the Obama Administration doesn’t follow a similar strategy of temporary nationalization of the banks, and soon, our economy may sputter along not for months, or years, but for an entire decade or more, much like Japan’s “lost decade” of the 90s.

Short of outright Depression, this would be the worst possible outcome for our nation. President Obama faces unprecendented challenges not seen since the Great Depression: aside from our teetering economy, three wars sap our blood and treasure and there is the looming threat of a failed state on our southern border, as Mexico’s President Calderon wages a losing “existential war” against the drug cartels. This little publicized threat has already invaded our territory: Phoenix, Arizona, one of the cartels’ major drug conduits, hosts heavily armed paramilitary thugs roaming its streets and claims the unenviable distinction of being the kidnapping capital of the United States.

It’s always darkest before the dawn, so goes the song. In this can-do nation of eternal optimists our hopes rest heavily with a visionary president who looks to the future with confidence to lead us through the darkness of fear and despair into the first glimmers of a new day.

Carpe Diem.

The World's Scariest Haircut

Barring one from him,

it would be difficult to imagine a more frightening haircut than the one I had yesterday.

I am not hesitant to spend money on high-end food, but on things like clothes and hair--I dress like a flood victim and go to discount hair salons. Yesterday I was greeted by a "stylist" I had not seen before. To re-use a comparison, it was like an encounter with a giant squid. You have heard they exist but they are rarely encountered in their natural habitat.

Making small talk, I note my rapidly graying hair and casually mention the story about how the prez is going gray only a few weeks into his term. She abruptly says, "I have no comment on that." OKAY. Then she asks what kind of work I do, and I should have made something up. Rodeo clown perhaps. I think gay porn star would have been less irritating to her than the combo of lawyer, writer and teacher. Because after all, and I quote, "the liberals won't let the schools use the kind of history books that teach the kids about God's plan for America."

Great, I thought. I'm hitting here 1/3 of the way into a haircut by a crazy woman armed with sharp objects. I'm dying to go Five Easy Pieces on her ("I'm listening to some cracker asshole who lives in a trailer park..."), but again, I remember that 1) right now, with one side of my hair cut, I look like an escaped mental patient and 2) as per above, crazy woman armed with sharp objects.

I made my feelings known to her, the salon manager and corporate (not to mention any names, but its initials are Great Clips.) Who thinks to rant like that to a total stranger? That is good for business how?

And see below about the proper uses for the stupid.

A Modest Proposal, revisited

The great satirist Jonathon Swift proposed with tongue ever-so-firmly in cheek that the Irish could solve its hunger and poverty problems by selling their children for food (I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled...)

In the spirit of Mr. Swift, I have a similar, blindingly obvious, proposal. Let us use the stupid for fuel.

Think about it. It is an abundant and ever-renewable resource. The conversion of the stupid into fuel will both free us from the tyranny of dependence on foreign oil and greatly improve the quality of the gene pool. Stupidoleum will be available in three grades like gasoline. You will be able to purchase idiot (Michelle Bachmann), imbecile (Bill O'Reilly) or moron (Sean Hannity). Just think, soon stupid stations will be springing all across America, and we can all feel better about powering our cars and heating our homes with 100% American stupid.

I have a good candidate for enough stupid to run your mower all summer long. I give you Tom Sheridan of Mount Prospect, Illinois, who authored this gem in this morning's Chicago Tribune:

To those who voted for Barack Obama, please consider this. When Obama was elected, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at 9,625. When he was sworn into office, it closed at 7,949, and this week it closed at 6,763. This represents a 30 percent reduction in the value of U.S. companies and investor wealth, over half of it while he was in office. As you are standing in the unemployment line, waiting for your "change," I "hope" you'll remember who continues to bring you a new misery every day. You had better "believe" it.

Fill 'er up! Oh, and Tom...

Stimulee, stimula, stimulee, stimula-haha-ha

So what do I think?

I'm a historian by training. I look back to FDR and the nightmare he inherited from his predecessor. What did FDR do? He tried all kinds of things. Some worked, some didn't. He scrapped what didn't and tried something else.

Will President Obama's plan work? Hell if I know. Do I support him against personal interest? Yes, given that we as a couple (not me mind you) are the dreaded "rich" (barely) who will see their mortage interest deduction cut, etc. But what we know is that a decade of Republican Hooverism has wrecked this train, that the tax cut mantra doesn't work and can't ever work.

I'm willing to try anything...

Pat Leahy's "Truth Commission"

So the senior senator from Vermont wants a truth commission to examine the myriad misdeeds of the Bush years. A commission is an affront to the law and to conscience if it is done with broad grants of immunity. Prosecutions MUST remain on the table and be vigorously pursued, or the "truth" will be as whitewashed as Tom Sawyer's fence.

The senator recognized that there are many congressional committees that have or will look into various aspects of Bush criminality, but he called for a "super committee," pictured below, with wide-ranging authority and jurisdiction.

LADIES AND GENTS: THE LEADER OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY

Prof. Limbaugh

We believe that the preamble to the Constitution contains an inarguable truth that we are all endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights, among them life. [Applause] Liberty, Freedom. [Applause] And the pursuit of happiness. [Applause] Those of you watching at home may wonder why this is being applauded. We conservatives think all three are under assault. [Applause] Thank you. Thank you.

Nice work, except that isn't the constitution, you drug-addled moron. That happens to come from Mr. Jefferson's 1776 masterpiece.

Yup, the head of the GOP. And we know where that head is...

A typical Republican who was "energized" by Limbaugh

We hear reports that Rush Limbaugh's CPAC address "energized" many Republicans, such as the one below.

Limbaugh, shown below, attempted to defend his desire for the president to "fail."

Republicans--the new Whigs? Or perhaps, the Federalists? Oh wait, I know...

THE KNOW-NOTHINGS.

The party needs to do some VERY SERIOUS soul-searching very quickly or the ashbin of history is the next and final stop on the Limbaugh Express trainwreck.

Did they learn nothing from November? You have Limbaugh and Joe the Fake Plumber as the big stories coming out of your unofficial party convention? [note to GOP: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT EVER put Limbaugh on TV. THAT is not a good look for you!] And Mittens "Mittens" Romney is your straw poll winner? Ah, I love the smell of Whiggery in the morning. It smells like...irrelevance.

The modern GOP has long been a puzzle, the unholiest of alliances between the yahoos and the CEOs. Somehow the CEOs convinced the yahoos that they shared their desire to help Jesus stop boys from kissing and that every sperm was indeed sacred. Now the CEOs have been exposed as the felons that they are, and the yahoos remain yahoos [Note to GOP #2: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT EVER put yahoo political rallies on TV. THAT is not a good look for you!]

Middle America needs to find a political party that speaks to and for them, that rejects both the corporatism and the anti-intellectual theocracy of the last generation's GOP. Will one emerge? Wait, I have an idea..how about, say, THE DEMOCRATIC party?

To: President Barack Obama (redux)

From: Me

Mr. President, your speech to Congress and the nation was inspiring. You give hope to millions that better days are indeed on the way after the darkness of most the the last decade. However, how can you lead and inspire when you publicly associate yourself with the absolute incarnation of hopelessness and despair? In these fragile early days of your presidency, please do not embrace the embodiment of abject failure, a mess that makes Afghanistan look like a walk in the park. Please do not let me see you again with the image of ultimate catastrophe below:

We have nothing to fear but fear, and Joakim Noah, themselves.

Me

Kudos to Chris Matthews

Ahem, did I just type that? Kudos to the crazy car of American politics?

Yup. Because he finally did what EVERYONE in the cowed mainstream media should do. He called out Darrell Issa (R-Idiot) for his childish use of "Democrat" rather than "Democratic. It's an old Frank Luntz talking point (sounds like "rat," they aren't really "democratic," etc.) now embraced by the de fatto (shamelessly stolen) head of the GOP, Viagra Oxycontin Limbaugh. Chris, a hat tip to ya.

To: President Barack Obama

From: Me

Dear Mr. President:

I believe you are off to a tremendous start in what will be a historic presidency. You are faced with tremendous challenges to help the nation recover from the previous president's Olympic-sized screwups.

Can you please do me one small favor, however? Please do NOT refer to Operation Iraqi Cluster**** as a "war." It has not been a "war" now for almost six years. To call it a "war" only legitimizes the abuses of the Bush years. You have no war to win or lose, only a disastrously botched occupation to leave behind as efficiently as possible.

Sincerely,

Me

Mrs. Mittens--Where's my bling?

Thieves apparently made off with some jewelry from the Mittens Romney huge ostentatious f**king mansion cabin in Park City, Utah (story). The clincher is that Mrs. Mittens didn't know what was missing, and the police were going to check with her JEWELRY CONSULTANT. I mean, who doesn't have a jewelry consultant???

Caribou Barbie, Riyoush Brady Jindal, Mittens--yup, that's leadership for you!

Name that POL/Spouse (from his/her Yearbook pic!): SEE ANSWERS BELOW

1. SARAH PALIN

2. JOHN McCAIN

3. JOE BIDEN

4. MIKE HUCKABEE

5. NANCY PELOSI

6. DICK CHENEY

7. MICHELLE OBAMA

8. NORM COLEMAN

9. ROD BLAGOJEVICH

10. JIMMY CARTER

11. RUDY GIULIANI


PICS ARE ALL COURTESY OF VETO CORLEONE SITE (no peeking ...)

I like open comments, but...

I think we've heard enough of the Hansen family, pictured below: