Dwarf-Tossing????

OK, I am a securities lawyer. Securities law, by definition is, oh I don't know--dull? Sure we get the big scandals but usually it is the net capital rule and the "tick" test (don't ask...) but read on...

From the Washington Post:

A Boston Brahmin's Brawls With Donaldson

By Steven Pearlstein
Wednesday, August 10, 2005; D01

Edward C. Johnson III is the very model of a Boston Brahmin billionaire -- a pillar of Yankee discretion and probity whose wife is active at the Society for the Preservation of New England Antiquities and whose family happens to own Fidelity Investments, the nation's largest mutual fund company.

So one can only imagine Johnson's reaction when it became known recently that the Securities and Exchange Commission, as part of a kickback investigation, was looking into who paid for a bachelor party for a Fidelity trader that reportedly featured paid escorts and "dwarf tossing" -- a party game that apparently involves throwing a dwarf in a Velcro suit at a Velcro-covered wall. Johnson also got caught up in the probe, having benefited from two free tickets to the ice-skating competition at the Salt Lake City Olympics from a brokerage firm with which Fidelity does business.

Dwarf tossing??? Now THAT is a party!!!! Who doesn't think that mutual fund investors should pay for a little game of "pitch a Mini-Me???"

As F. Scott Fitzgerald opined, the rich ARE different!

Whodathunkit?

The Chicago Tribune reports:

An Illinois Army National Guard memo distributed to commanders early this year described lapses in leadership, flagging retention and low morale among deployed Guard units and calls into question the ability to field a ready fighting force.

The Illinois Army National Guard's second in command, Brig. Gen. Charles E. Fleming, based the Jan. 29 memo on a survey of 1,200 Guard troops deployed to Iraq, Afghanistan and U.S. bases last year.

"When soldiers were asked questions regarding retention, morale and leadership, the results were shocking," said the memo, which sought to begin correcting the problems.

Of soldiers trained for duty in so-called military occupational specialties--military job skills--the memo says the "Illinois Army National Guard's readiness continues to suffer."

The non-classified memo, which was provided to the Chicago Tribune, identifies particular problems in finding and retaining officers, and it says fewer soldiers are re-enlisting after basic and advanced infantry training--a period when soldiers historically are the most "motivated and aggressive" to further their military careers.

The memo raised concerns about a leadership climate in which it is often felt that officers are more concerned about their own advancement than the well-being of their troops. Soldiers in interviews said they have not raised critical questions over readiness for fear of retribution from Guard leadership.

The memo, called an operations order, comes as the Army National Guard is undergoing convulsive changes to make it more responsive to sudden wartime call-ups.

Nationally, surveys of returning troops find similar trends, and the number of new recruits has been falling in active-duty military, reserve and National Guard units.

The Illinois Army National Guard in particular has grappled with leadership and staffing issues in recent years, the extent of which was outlined in Fleming's memo.

Guard commander Maj. Gen. Randal E. Thomas on Friday called the memo a snapshot taken at a low point in the Guard's morale as its first underequipped troops were returning from Iraq.

"The situation was we've got some issues to solve in personnel and manpower," Thomas said. "This was a strategy, but I do believe we need to change the culture of the Guard."

According to a survey of Illinois Guard members, Fleming cited in the memo, "the majority of soldiers feel they are poorly informed, inadequately cared for, and that training in their units is boring and unorganized."

More than three-quarters thought unit morale was a big problem while deployed to Iraq.

I wish I could have voted for Paul Hackett...

Responding to America's Midday Cancerous Gasbag, Paul told the truth.

Limbaugh said "And it appears that, you know, he goes to Iraq to pad the resumé, come back and run as a big supporter of the war, or at least finishing the project over there."

Yeah, you know, going to Fallujah is "padding the resume"--like student council or Model UN, I guess.

Hackett responds:

That's typical for that fat-ass drug addict to come up with something like that. There's a guy -- I didn't hear this, but actually when I was on drill this weekend, I've got to tell you, he lost a lot of Republican supporters with his comments. Because they were coming up to me, telling me, "I can't believe he said that! And besides that, he called you a soldier. He doesn't know the difference between a soldier and a Marine!" So generally, the consensus is, you know, Rush doesn't know squat about patriotism. He's typical of the new Republican. He's got a lot of lip, and he doesn't walk the walk.

We live in a stupid country.....

It is bad enough that 59 million people (give or take a few imaginary Floridians and Ohioans) thought that a reckless, dangerous, arrogant moron should be president, but now..

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?????

Americans plunked down more than $30 million to see

THE DUKES OF HAZZARD??????

God help us.

A personal message to Bill McCabe of Arlington Heights, Illinois

Dear Bill McCabe:

I don't know you but I have a suggestion for you.

Turn off Limbaugh, switch the channel from Fox News and go outside!!!! Take a look around.

In a letter to the editor published in today's Chicago Tribune, Bill writes:

We need to do what is right as a benevolent member of the international community by helping the Iraqi people and start to worry less about what France and Iran think of our efforts overseas.

Hmmm, let's see.. a benevolent member of the international community and helping the Iraqi people...

Right, when I think of "benevolence" and "help" I immediately think of bombing and conquest! I think of destroying the infrastructure, blowing up the electrical grid and the water distribution system, and bombing hospitals, neighborhoods and schools.

We have benevolently helped at least 25,000 of the Iraqi people and perhaps as many as 150,000 or more by benevolently and helpfully killing them!

Have a nice day, Bill.

There is no such thing.....

I am munching on a FABULOUS piece of 4-year old cheddar cheese from The Cheese Haven in Port Clinton, Ohio. Expensive, but ohmygawd, is it good. You must go, you must!

1) Just think of the stuff you buy at your supermarket that turns into a science project of green fuzzies in about 10 days. This stuff is FOUR YEARS OLD and keeps out of the frig.
2) When this cheese was made, war in Iraq was only a wide (or wild)-eyed fantasy for young President Chimpy.
3) Just think of those disgusting things at your store. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FAT-FREE CHEESE!!!!! If it is "fat free," it is NOT cheese! Ditto for my personal (un)favorite, "fat-free half and half"

VVVVHAT? Half milk and half cream with no fat? "Cream" is defined as "a dairy product composed of the higher-fat layer skimmed from the top of raw milk before homogenization."

It it is non-fat, it isn't "half and half." It is a disgusting lab project.

Your body NEEDS fat. Not what we consume in massive fast-food burgers, but we need fat nonetheless. And if you are going to enjoy, do it right--use the real butter and cream wisely and leave the things that don't exist on the store shelf.

CHEESE HAVEN--GO THERE!!!

The Hippies

I know, I know, we had given President Chimpy a lifetime achievement Hippy (for hypocrisy), but this one deserves special mention. The Simian-in-Chief told us that he pushed through the repulsive Bolton appointment as U.N. ambassador (imagine a Bolton more repugnant than Michael???) because this post was "too important to leave vacant any longer, especially during a war and a vital debate about U.N. reform." VVVVVHAT? For one thing, it isn't vacant, the deputy ambassador was doing a fine job. For another thing, you CAUSED the long vacancy by 1) waiting forever to make the nomination and 2) nominating someone too disgusting to confirm. And secondly, isn't this the same President Monkey who has completely blown off the UN throughout his tenure?? Congratulations, Cheetah. Tarzan and Jane are very proud.

Hello, America? This is your wakeup call

Admittedly, I am a political junkie but I think the country is asleep.

Case in point--my lovely wife.

God bless her, she has put up with me since October 1976 when we met on a blind date at DePauw University, I was a sophomore, she was a freshman. She is a high-level computer systems manager with a HUGE corporation, a CPA and a master's graduate of Northwestern's Kellogg School of Business,

Last night we are watching mankind's greatest invention to date (TIVO!!) and the Daily Show. Jon Stewart intros the Robert Novak meltdown. I tell the Mrs. that she has to watch Robert Novak implode. She says...

Who's Robert Novak?

I say, "He's the Sun-Times columnist that outed Valerie Plame."

Who's Valerie Plame?

When I mention Karl Rove I get a nod of familiarity but GEEEZ--this is a highly intelligent, well-educated woman who lives with a political junkie and it is not getting through????

Hello???

Hail to the Orange, Hail to the Blue

I would like to commend the NCAA for taking action against the biggest problem facing college athletics--Indian mascots. I admit it--I am an unabashed supporter of Chief Illiniwek. I know, I know, not very PC but--after all, the state name means "Land of the Illini."

He isn't a sideline mascot ramming the Golden Gopher into the goalposts--he doesn't "cheer" and only appears for the halftime ritual. No big-nosed caricature like Chief Wahoo and he's not Chief Nok-a-Homa. He wears a costume donated by a Sioux chief. I was at that game, we played Pitt (they had a quarterback named Marino, I wonder how he turned out).

I come from Danish ancestry. Should I be offended when someone wearing horns trumpets at a Vikings game? Is Sparty at Michigan State offensive to Peloponnesian Greeks? The Penn Quakers? And don't get me started on that place in South Bend.

Irrational? Perhaps. Illogical? Almost definitely, but I will always love the Chief!

Hail to the Orange, Hail to the Blue

Hail Alma Mater

Ever so true (so true...)

We love no other

So let our motto be

Victory Illinois, Varsity!

The camera adds ten pounds....of makeup?

How many cameras were on her then?

Katherine Harris (Wicked Witch-Fl) is whining on Sean Hannity's nutfest that newspapers exaggerated her pounds of makeup by colorizing photos to make her look bad. Funny, she looked just as creepy on live TV! I bet every TV camera crew and every photographer and every newspaper in the country was in on this evil liberal media conspiracy!

"I'm Melting............."

Ads

In the ever-changing world of blog ads, I see some Lake Erie Islands/Miller Ferry stuff popping up. A great cheap vacation area (centering around Sandusky/Port Clinton/Put-in-Bay Ohio), HIGHLY recommended!

And the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a MUST daytrip!

Takes one to know one...

So...President Chimpy defends Rafael Palmeiro for lying and substance abuse...hmmmm.....

Iraq and a hard Place

14 Marines die in Iraq. How many more? And for what?

The so-called "constitution," which will disenfranchise women and marginalize Sunnis, will do little to further stability. We keep hitting a hornet's nest with a stick and wonder why we're getting stung?

I just thought he was cool.....

We drove past him every day on vacation, but the thing he is holding is gone now, just a poor handless giant.....

The president's physical

I heard on the drive back that President Chimpy had his annual physical. His doctor pronounced him in good health and "fit for duty."

He may well be in good physical shape, but it is hard to imagine a man less "fit for duty" if that duty involves leading this country.

Tanned, rested and ready....

Ah, a wonderful week! I'm a big fan of the Sandusky/Lake Erie islands/Marblehead Peninsula area of Ohio, lots to do, relatively close by and not too expensive. The roller coasters at Cedar Point were incredible, loved the islands and I could have spent another whole day at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

It was also interesting being completely divorced from the news. The cottage had no TV or phone, so a week went by and I missed everything!

A HUGE thanks to my team members and I hope they keep contributing!

Barf for Bush

Hundreds of Boy Scouts fall ill while waiting to hear the Preznit speak.

Res ipsa loquitur.

Exposing CIA operatives vs. Exposing the Johnson

(First, thanks to Pete for offering the chance to guest-blog this week. I shall do my level best.)

Republicans are funny people. Not "funny" as in "Chris Rock is funny" but "funny" as in "there's something funny going on here." It's been established by the Republican party that a president getting a hummer from an intern in the Oval Office is a far greater crime than intentionally outing a covert CIA operative for political payback.

Funny. Hysterical, even.

The Democrats in the Senate sent a letter today to the majority leader, "Dr." Bill Frist, demanding a Congressional investigation into the Plame affair. I'm sure it's already been filed under "as if."

But the Dems are having a little "fun" with the situation in their own way. When you're the minority party, you have to do what you can to make your point. My favorite part of this web page is the last two points.

Minimum number of hearings held by Senate Republicans to investigate accusations against President Clinton involving the "Whitewater" case: 20

Total hearings held by Senate Republicans to investigate the leak of the covert identity of Ambassador Joseph Wilson's wife: 0

I know it's a lot to hope for, but wouldn't it be great if the populace woke up to staggering corruption and partisanry of the GOP and voted them back into the minority in '06? I have a picture in my mind of Shrub, Rove, Cheney, Rice, Rumsfeld, Libby, and McClellan being frog marched out of the White House and into a US Marshal's van.

Now THAT would be "funny."

Back in a week!

Off for a week of R&R to the tropical sands of...northern Ohio! (click on title header of the post to see our cute little destination). My able teammates will carry on in my stead!

Lying under oath?

''I, George Walker Bush, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.''